


TF2 Oneshots

by SilverDreemurr



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-04-04 03:29:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 37,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14011209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverDreemurr/pseuds/SilverDreemurr
Summary: This is a collection of works transitioned from my Wattpad account. I know, I know, very mature of me to use Wattpad...There are other headcanon chapters in that book, I just decided not to post them here. The quality of the stories is pretty much the same. I'll post there first, so if you want to read them early, here's the link to the original book. https://www.wattpad.com/story/136320954-tf2-oneshots-redux





	1. Christian Brutal Medic X Reader

Your P.O.V.

 

I sighed deeply. The team was victorious...again.

Which meant a party...again.

Which meant they would all get drunk...again.

Which meant they would all harass me until they passed out...AGAIN.

I was getting tired of all these 'again's, so I decided to take a walk outside. We were at Gorge base, so I could actually take one, unlike 2fort and Coldfront. I still couldn't understand how it was always snowy there...

I grabbed a (team colour) hoodie, in case it was cold, and started walking to the back door.

"Hey, where ye goin', lassie? Aren' ye gonna *hic* party wif us?" I sigh and send a smile Demo's way.

"I don't feel like it. I need to go clear my head." He nods and goes back to his whiskey. I open the back door and step outside, taking a deep breath.

It smelled like fresh pine, with a hint of gunpowder and running water. I smile and close the door behind me, pulling on my hoodie, leaving it open. It wasn't that cold.

*timeskip*

 

Your P.O.V.

 

Scratch that.

It's now extremely cold.

I went into the forest to maybe watch some birds, and I apparently wandered too far. There was a natural path that I followed, but I strayed off it, and now I can't find it. It's nighttime now, and extremely cold, with no light to guide me back to base.

I hear a chuckle. I whip around to look for the source, but there's nobody there.

"Must have been my imagination..." I mutter to myself. I sigh and turn around. That should be where I came from, so I should be able to find the base if I go that way. Right?

 

CBM's P.O.V.

 

Oh, she's so innocent! She got lost two hours ago. I subtly guided her to the path earlier, so she could get back, but she kept on going in. She's quite funny, actually! I still cringe at accidentally letting myself be known, however. Stupid of me...

"Oh, hey birds. Ironic you show up now." I direct my attention back to the girl, who was currently smiling softly at Vladimir. I growl quietly. Vladimir hears me and flutters over to me.

On instinct, I put my arm out to let him perch. Then I see the girl, staring at my arm, thoroughly spooked. I sigh and step out.

"Who are you?" She says shakily. I smile. She's cute with her face paled in fear.

"It does not matter. Vhat maters is zhat jou are lost, frau. Vould jou like some help getting back to jour base?" Her hands start shaking. I can't stop my smile from growing.

"H-How do you know?" I chuckle and beckon her to follow me. I start walking, and I can hear her behind me.

"Ich am a former member of zhe Red team. If jou haven't noticed, certain members of both teams are slowly replaced. Vould jou like to know why?" She slows down. I slow down with her.

"Yeah..." She says quietly. I stop completely to walk side-by-side with her. She looks up at me curiously. I smile widely, which sets her off a bit.

"Zhey all have gone insane, frau. I only know of three on my team because zhey visit me often for healing. One now has a murderous complex towards the Blu team because zhey tortured him, zhe other has gone cannibalistic, and zhe last one is schizophrenic, a special case where he kills people efficiently and accurately but he only zhinks zhat he has inconvenienced zhem, and apologizing before killing someone else." She starts visibly quaking.

"And...and you?" I stop smiling for a second, but quickly force it back onto my face.

"Ich don't think jou would vant to know zhat..." She nods slowly. I look away from her and continue walking. Vladimir caws softly at me. I nuzzle his head with one of my fingers and smile softly.

"What's his name?" I sigh softly.

"Vladimir. He vas zhe only bird zhat came around vhen Ich buried Archimedes. My Archimedes, at least." She nods and decides not to prod more. I stop near the edge of the forest.

"Walk zhe same direction we were walking for a few more minutes, and zhen jou'll be back at jour base."

"Why can't you come?" I grit my teeth. She backs off a bit.

"After vhat zhey did to me...both of zhem...Ich vould not be able to contain myself."

"And what would you do?" I chuckle darkly and pet Vladimir, who caws appreciatively.

"Ich würde sie in Stücke reißen und die Wände mit ihrem Blut bemalen, bis sie zu ängstlich waren, um aus dem Spawnraum zu kommen, und dann würde ich das gleiche im Spawnraum tun, bis ich sie für das Leben vernarbte und sie immer ängstlich sein würden. Ich wartete jede Nacht, falls ich zurückkam. Ich würde es auch genießen." I start laughing quietly, and I feel my eye twitching as the memories come back.

"I can guess you intend to murder them?" I turn towards her and smile.

"Yes, Ich do. Now go, and don't tell zhem I'm here." She is clearly shocked at my distinct change in tone. She turns and jogs away. I feel a pang of regret. She probably wouldn't come back. I liked her...

 

Your P.O.V.

 

I jogged back to the base, multiple thoughts running through my head. I knew he had murderous intent, but what did he say? What did they do? I had some major questions to ask...

"PRIVATE FEATHERS! WHERE WERE YOU?!" I sigh as I shut the door behind me.

"I took a walk because I was tired of your drunk bullshit, Major. Now, I'm tired, and I'm going to bed." I go upstairs and into my room, closing and locking the door behind me.

"Time to get some sleep." I strip and hop into bed, pulling the covers over me and nuzzling into the bed, falling asleep immediately.

*timeskip*

 

Your P.O.V.

 

This morning, instead of waking up to Soldier shouting, I wake up to a gentle tapping on the window. I get up slowly and stretch. The tapping continues, so I look at the window.

"Oh, Vladimir." I open the window. He flutters in and holds his beak up to me, which is bearing a note. I take the note. He caws happily and flutters over to the windowsill. I open up the note.

'Frau, this might be a mistake, but I want to get to know you better. First, what is your name? I prefer to be known as Christian Brutal Medic. Please, don't ask why yet.'

I smile. He's scary, but he gives off the impression that he'd be nice if he weren't so...insane. Well, insanity isn't a problem, and he's still nice, but...maybe I could help him? I take out a piece of paper and a pen.

'My name is (Y/N). Do you think we could maybe meet again? If the team wins again, I'll need to take a walk to get away...'

I fold up the note and give it to Vladimir. He ruffles his wings and takes off again. I sigh and get dressed. Don't want Soldier to catch me naked again...

*timeskip*

 

Your P.O.V.

 

As predicted, we were victorious. I got my hoodie and went outside again without anybody noticing. I walk over to the forest. If he got my reply, he should be expecting me.

I walk a few meters into the forest, then I see him caring for an injured fawn. I gasp. He looks up and shushes me quietly. He finishes up wrapping a wound and helps it up. The fawn then proceeds to limp towards its mother while CBM walks over to me.

"Everyzhing deserves to live." He says, which surprises me. Just yesterday, he said something incredibly violent and murderous about the teams...

"Are you okay?" I ask. He considers this a moment, before nodding. I noticed that he looked cleaner, more well-cut. Suddenly he turns away and mutters something in German as he runs a hand through his hair.

"Ich am sorry, liebe, Ich don't know vhat came over me." I nod cautiously. Did he have some sort of split personality? I file it away in my brain for later.

"So, jou vanted to meet up vith me? Vhat for?" I smile.

"I justed wanted to get to know you better." He smiles in his creepy way. I smile back shyly.

"Ich don't zhink jou vant zhat connection vith me, liebe. Zhey might go after jou next..." I shrug nonchalantly. His smile falters.

"Don't care. I don't want you to be lonely." He stops smiling, his eyes revealing shock and hope while his face remains neutral.

"Tch, fine. Aber, liebling, du musst zuerst mit mir kommen, bitte." He turns and starts walking, beckoning me again. I follow him, not really knowing what he said.

After a few meters of walking, Vladimir joins us. I smile at the bird. He caws back.

"Liebling, Ich must ask jou, are jou afraid of becoming insane? Having mental issues of any kind?" I considered this for a moment. What kind of question is that?

"Well...I guess not." He chuckles quietly.

"Good, good..." I send a confused look to Vladimir. He looks away and ruffles his feathers like he's nervous. Maybe the crow is smarter than he lets on...But then, that means he knows what's about to happen.

*Timeskip*

 

CBM's P.O.V.

 

'Why are you doing this?'

'Because I want her. Because we want her, don't deny it.'

'That doesn't mean you have to do this.'

'Shut up, you idiot. I'm doing something for both of us for once. Can't you just be happy with that?'

'No! You can't hurt her like that! I...I won't allow it.'

'Oh? What are you gonna do, kill me?'

'No...But give her a choice, at least.'

'Tch...fine.'

I return from the depths of conversation to see that we've arrived at my house. I open the door and beckon her inside. She follows me.

"Tell me, liebe, do jou frighten easily?"

"No, not usually. Battle does that to you. Why?"

"Because I'm scared that I might scare or hurt jou." I quickly go over to the door and close it.

"What're you doing?" I sigh and go over to a drawer.

"Ich habe keine Ahnung." I pull out the cure that he was working on, and pour it into a flask. Then I take some Midazolam and mix it with some Rohypnol, pouring it into another flask.

"Liebe, Ich am sorry, but Ich habe a difficult question to ask of jou." I turn around with the two vials in my hands. She nods.

"What is it?"

"In one hand, Ich habe the cure to my many mental illnesses. In zhe ozher, Ich habe a knockout drug for jou to take. Now, zhe question is...would jou rather have me sane, or be insane?" Her face pales.

'Stupid, stupid, STUPID! She won't love either of us now! Look what you've done!'

'It doesn't matter. What if she didn't like us that way in the first place? I did us a favour.'

 

Your P.O.V.

 

I consider my options. He's insane, but has a cure. I could go insane, and forfeit payment for my job. If I tried to run, the door is probably locked, and I wouldn't make it far if I jumped out of a closed window, which would injure me. He has every advantage. If I asked him to let me go, he would probably force the drug on me. However, I do have a beacon on me that would alert my team to where I was. Maybe, if I make a break for it and activate the beacon, I could actually escape...

I take a deep breath, and go for the first thing I think of...

 

(Okay, there are three options. First, you make him sane again. Second, you go insane with him. Third, you make a break for it. They'll be listed in order, and denoted. Read the passage for which one you go for. Have fun :3)

 

Option One; He Goes Sane

 

"Please take the cure." He looks at me surprised.

"Jou...don't vant to run?" I shake my head.

"Or want me to leave jou alone?" I shake my head again.

"I like you, and want to give you a decent chance. But I don't want to sacrifice my sanity either." He nods.

"Are jou sure?" I nod.

He visibly gulps. He sets one flask down, and uncaps the other. He makes sure it's the right one, and then downs it all in one go. He coughs harshly, and I step forward to help him. He leans back against the counter and brushes me off, turning away and still coughing harshly.

Vladimir flutters over to me and lands on my shoulder. I pet him absentmindedly, looking at the insane doctor with concern.

After a while, he finally stops coughing. He sets his glasses back on his nose and pushes them up. I place a hand on his shoulder to make sure he's okay. He turns to me and smiles softly.

"Ich zhink it vorked. Ich vould still be terrified of zhe teams, but Ich could face zhem vithout murdering zhem, Ich zhink." I smile back at him and help him to a fully upright position.

"Are you ready?" He nods. I walk over to the door and open it. It was unlocked the entire time. I go outside, and hear him following me.

A few minutes later, we were back at the base. Soldier looks angry for a moment, but then his jaw drops in shock.

"...Ehrenberg? Is that right?" Everyone turns to look at us, extremely sobered. CBM shies up behind me out of fear.

"J-Ja..." Our current Medic looks lost.

"Ehrenberg? I recognize zhat name...Wait." He walks up to me. CBM moves so he's more visible.

"Klaus Ehrenberg?"

"...Henrik Ludwig?" Medic shoves me out of the way and hugs CB...erm, Claus, tightly.

"Mein Gott! Wo zum Teufel warst du, alter Freund?" Claus cautiously hugs back.

"Versteckt ... In den Wäldern ... Von ihnen." Our Medic pulls back from Klaus and looks at him confusedly.

"'Zhem'? Who are jou talking about?" Klaus starts shaking as he notices that the team has congregated around them. I jump to his defence.

"Oi, stop crowding him! You're the ones he's scared of!" Everyone immediately backs off. Medic looks extremely angry.

"What...did jou do to him? I'm not angry, Ich just want to know." Heavy is the one to speak up.

"He failed once in battle. The Administrator repurposed him. When the Sniper incident happened, he escaped. That is all I know, for I came here after incident." Medic's breathing quickens in his anger.

"Who was here? Who mistreated him?" Soldier, Spy, and Scout step forward. Medic turns around and glares at each one.

"Jou drei, to zhe Med Bay. Schnell." He then walks off. They all look at least a bit scared as they follow Medic to their dooms. Klaus walks back over to me, hugging my arm to him for comfort.

Well, he'll get used to them. And they'll get used to him. Who knows, maybe Klaus might rejoin the team as base Medic...but none of that matters, as long as I love him and he loves me. I'll help him through integration into society, and who knows? We could have some kids...

 

Option Two; You Go Insane

 

"How would I go insane?" He smiles and sets one vial down, handing me the other.

"Drink zhis." I uncap it and take a swig. He brings it back to my lips and makes me down all of it.

After a few minutes of him just staring at me in awkward silence, I start to feel strangely relaxed and calm.

"What was in that vial?" He smiles.

"It's starting to take effect?" I nod.

"Sleeping and calming drugs, to make zhis easier." I look at him confused.

"Make wha-" He interrupts me by crashing his lips onto mine. I immediately kiss back, not really caring due to my inebriated state. He pulls away and smiles at me. I smile back at him.

"Thirteen minutes, frau. Let's use zhem~" He picks me up and sets me on one of the counters, kissing me roughly.

Some time later, I felt woozier than I already was.

"Gute Nacht, liebeling..." I pass out.

*a few months later...*

Klaus and I are perched on a hill overlooking the Blu and Red bases. I finally built up his confidence to take revenge. His good voice isn't around to stop us either, only the fun ones to help us!

"Are you ready, babes?" He looks over at me and nods. I smile and jump off the ridge, hearing him yell after me. I giggle as I land in the bushes and wait for him to come after me. This attack's gonna be fun...

A few minutes later, and everything is covered in blood, including us. I grab his hand and start dancing. He smiles and starts dancing with me. We both laugh in ecstasy. They're dead. Albeit not permanently, but we killed them all at least once! We love each other, and nothing can stop us.

 

Option Three; You Run

 

"Uhm...do I have to take one of those? I mean...what if I want you the way you are, the way I am?" His eyes light up.

"Ja. Ich- of course! Ich thought jou...vouldn't vant to be vith mich after vhat Ich asked..." I shook my head.

"Of course not, Christian. People ask strange things all the time. It doesn't really matter to me." He nods and hugs me. I hug back.

"But..zhe teams vouldn't approve of zhis, vould zhey..." I smile.

"We can run. You, me, Vladimir...we could make it." He pulls back, confused.

"Vhy run?" I pull out the beacon and break it.

"My team will most likely search the woods first if I go missing. We can't stay here." He nods.

"Jou'll need to pack, and I'll need to inform zhe ozhers of what happened to mich..." I nod. He lets go of me and nudges me to the door.

"Go quickly. Ve'll leave tonight. Grab any extra veapons, and bring some food too." I nod and open the door, running out. This is gonna be exciting!

*one year later...*

I drop my pack in the front hall and go back outside to get the groceries. Klaus comes outside to help me.

"Velcome back, Mrs Ehrenberg." I giggle and bring half the bags inside as he gets the other half.

"TIt's been five months, babe!" I deposit the bags in the kitchen, and then he pulls me into a light kiss. I kiss back for a second, then turn back to the groceries to put the cold stuff away.

After it's all put away, Klaus hugs me from behind.

"Oh, Ich liebe dich, liebling."

"I love you too, Klaus." He gently rubs my stomach.

"Vhat were zhe names we thought of again?" I cover his hands with mine.

"If it's a boy, Audwin. If it's a girl, Chikako." He chuckles.

"Chikako Ehrenberg?" I bat him playfully. He laughs.

"Both names mean wise, baka! Unless you want our girl name to be Jessica or something totally white like that." He gasps.

"Jou vouldn't name our darling little girl zhat!...Vould jou?" I turn around and press a brief kiss to his lips.

"Maaaaaybe~" He chuckles and shakes his head.

"No matter zhe name, ve vill be a happy family. I'm sure of it." He presses his forehead to mine. I smile. He smiles back.

"Ich liebe dich."

"Ich liebe dich auch."


	2. Gang Member!Sniper x Child!Reader

Your P.O.V.(you're eight in this story)

I was walking down the street with my parents. We were on vacation in Australia, and I was fascinated with the creatures. The kangaroos, wallabies, snakes, all of it! Not even to mention the sea life! I love animals.

"Okay honey, this is our last day here. Your father and I want to have some private time, so you'll be by yourself at the hotel." I look up at my mom and nod. She smiles. I smile back.

We get to the hotel and she gets me into our room. Dad's waiting there with a grin on his face. My mom lets go of me and hooks her arm in his, waving me goodbye, then leaving with dad.

"Nothing better to do than sleep, I guess..." I lay down on my bed and tuck myself in, staring up at the ceiling. I can't fall asleep...

 

*timeskip*

 

When they got back, it was nighttime. I was really tired by then, but wanted to greet them and play with them a bit. They just smiled at me.

"Honey, it's late. You should go to bed." I groan. That's what I've been trying to do the whole time you were gone! However, I don't complain and go to bed.

 

*Timeskip*

 

Mom, Dad, and I were walking to our car, when somebody grabbed me. I yelled and struggled, but I was too weak.

"Honey! HEY, LET HER GO!" I looked back up to see that the mean guys grabbed my parents too.

"We only need the brat. Kill the spares." Someone pulled out a weird black box...wait, no, that's a gun!

I started crying and screaming, begging them to not kill my parents. I heard a shot. My eyes were too blurry with tears to see who had died. I blinked them away, and saw my mother on the ground, blood coming from both the back of her head and a hole in the front of her head.

I was crying profusely. I couldn't see my father die, but I could hear it. They dragged me to a car and tossed me in the back, locking the door. They started to drive, and with every mile put between me and my parent's corpses, I lost a bit more hope.

 

Sniper's P.O.V

 

Sniping's a good job. Especially when it pays well. That's what this current job is doing, so I like it.

I'm on a contract with the Australian mafia. It hurts to see the dark underbelly of my home, but it's home.

I'm interrupted in my thoughts by a knock on the door. I go up to it and open the slat.

"Whaddya want, mate?"

"The boss's special." I open up the door. Two of them in the back are holding something up.

"Did you nap someone?" They nod and shove past me. I dust myself off and look to see who they grabbed.

I grab the shoulder of one of the guys carrying her, making them stop.

"We don't. Deal. With kids." He looks back at me, fear in his eyes.

"Boss's orders, n-nothing I can do." I growl.

"Take me to the boss, now." They nod and continue on.

"And give me the little sheila." They look at one another.

"NOW! OR I'LL BLOW YOUR BLOODY HEADS OFF!" They quickly hand me the little girl. I gently clutch her to my chest.

"don't worry, you're gonna be safe, lil dingo..." She clutches my shirt and buries her face in it, crying quietly. I pat her on the back a bit.

 

When they got to the boss's office, they were hesitant to knock. After a few seconds, I kicked the door in.

"FELIX!" The blond man turned to look at me.

"What do you want, Bushman?"

"Why did you kidnap a kid?! You said yourself that you leave children alone!" He shrugged.

"The world is changing. She was in the hotel, watching what we did in the parking lot last night. What you did last night. She's heard everything. She has to go. The Dewui, Fukeu and Hau Deal is strictly confidential." She looks up at me, tear stains on her face. It about breaks my heart in two.

"What's he talking about? I didn't see anything, it was dark...I was stargazing."

That's it. I'm going to die for this kid.

I look back up at Felix.

"See! She said it herself, you Swedish meatball! Let her off!"

"She knows too much now." He snaps his fingers. His guards raise their guns. I pull out my Bushwacka.

"Put both her and the knife down, and you don't have to get hurt." I slowly set her down. She starts crying again.

"A-at least I'm g-onna be w-with Mom and D-ad..." She sniffles.

They killed her parents. They killed her bloody parents.

I yell fiercely and run forward, stabbing both gunmen quickly. Then I turn to Felix, who has his gun pointed at the kid.

"One more step, and I shoot." He smiles, knowing he's got me. Or so he thinks.

"Just let her go." He loads a bullet into the chamber. I pull out my emergency jar of piss and throw it on him.

"What the hell is-" Before he can finish, I've stabbed him clean through. He drops dead and I retrieve my bowie out of his corpse.

"Who's in charge now?" I glare at the guys in the doorway.

"It'll be nobody if you don't bugger off right now." They all run. The little girl runs up to me and hugs me.

"Thank you so much, sir!" I hug back.

"Of course. I had to, after what you said. My parents died too." She pulled back and looked up at me.

"Really?" I nod.

"Now, this might sound mean, but just because they died doesn't mean you get to do nothing. I made that mistake, and it cost me my life. I don't want you to make that mistake." She nods and smiles softly.

"Now, do me a favour and get that pile of duffle bags over here." She nods and goes over to the pile, bringing them over. I crack open the safe and shove all the cash into the bags.

"Are we stealing?" I chuckle.

"No, I'm collecting payment for this lousy job. I have another one coming, but this'll set us up nicely, sheila." She giggles and pokes me.

"My name's not Sheila! It's (Y/N)!" (If your name is Sheila, you ask him how he knew your name)

"Oh, no, it's just what a bloke like meself calls a beautiful girl when we don't know what her name is." She rolls her eyes. I chuckle.

"Let's go, before the bad guys come back." I pick up the full bags and nod.

"Hey, get the other bags, would you? More pay to collect." She giggles and nods, picking them all up and following me out.

 

*Timeskip*

 

"Jour Kleines Mädchen is growing up quickly." I chuckle.

"Yeah, she is. Can't wait to see the little dingo hop off to glory." Right on cue, she races up to me and holds up the head of a Spy.

"I found him sneaking onto the base!" I ruffle her hair and take it from her.

"Soldier's gonna be proud of ya. But remember, be careful." She nods.

"Medic, do you know where Big Brother Heavy is? I wanna play some chess." He points to the right, and she races off.

"I hope she's ok in this environment..."

"Don't worry, mein Freund. Jou're a good Vater figure. She's going to grow up strong und smart. Plus, she's going to have a lot of experience. She'll get a good job." I smile at Medic.

"Thanks, Doc." He pats me on the shoulder, gets up, and leaves.

I sigh. I'm alone again.

"Mundy?" I look over at my little girl.

"Yeah, sweetheart?" She smiles.

"Show me how to aim a moving headshot again?" I smile and get up, grabbing my rifle.

We go up to the training nest, and I set up my rifle.

"Now, remember, breathe. Focus on who you want, not what you want." She sits down and nods, peering down the scope.

"Go for the Medic." I start up the bots. She grabs the rifle and follows the Medic-bot's movements with the laser guide.

I put my arms around her.

"Steady, steady..." She puts her eye up to the scope and her finger on the trigger. When she fires, it goes clean through the bot's eye.

"Nice shot!" She smiles up at me. I smile back. She sets the gun down and hugs me.

"I love you, Dad." I look down at her in shock for a moment before I hug back.

"I love you too, lil dingo."


	3. Heavy x Scared!Victimized!Reader

Your P.O.V.

the battle today...

we lost.

it hurt...when they spawn-killed us after the battle.

it normally doesn't hurt...as badly as it did today.

"Hey, toots, are you crying?" I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at Scout.

"I don't think so...am I?" He started laughing.

"Try to cover it up all you can, toots, but you're a crybaby!" Engie smacked him over the head with his wrench.

"Shut up, boy! You don't know how she feels right now!" They started arguing. The shouting hurt my head. I quietly slipped away and into the kitchen.

"Hey, toots, make me a sandwich!" I started to feel the tears streak down my face.

"I'm not some useless woman..."

"TELL THAT TO OUR LOSS TODAY!"

he's right...

"YOU'RE TAKING IT TOO FAR, BOY! IT WAS ALL OUR FAULTS! NOT JUST HERS!"

no, he's right...

"SHE DIDN'T DO SHIT, GRANDPA!"

he's finally telling the truth...

"YOU WILL SHUT UP RIGHT NOW, MAGGOT! IF ANYTHING, IT'S YOUR FAULT!"

no, it's mine...

"SCHWINEHUND! IT'S JOUR FAULT FOR JUST STANDING ZHERE WHEN I POPPED ZHE UBER!"

that is true...idiot...

"WILL EVERYBODY JUST STOP BLOODY SHOUTING! CRIKEY, ARE YOU ALL ON YOUR PERIODS OR SOMETHING?!"

everyone started shouting and arguing with each other. I covered my ears in an attempt to get away from the noise. It didn't work, so I just went into the corner, sat down on the floor, and just started crying full force. It's not like anybody would hear me...

"HEY!"

Everyone quieted. I stopped making conscientious noise. Heavy was scary...

"Stop arguing. Is not good for teamwork. You also make (Y/N) feel unwanted."

I would have protested, but I was too scared. I was fine with feeling unwanted.

"if she didn't want to feel unwanted, she shouldn't 'ave joined a team of men. ze battlefield is no place for petite filles..."

As everyone started looking at Spy in agreement, I quickly and quietly got up and ran for my room through the other kitchen door.

The thing is, I'm fine on the battlefield. But they're abusive with their words when they get off. That's what gets me.

Scout's an asshole, who's usually right about how incompetent I am.

Soldier whips me harder than the others because 'women need to train harder to be equal to men'.

Pyro's fine, but...they're scary...

Demo is always drunk, which I have a bad history with...plus he always looks so happy when he hurts others.

Engie is too defensive of me. He treats me like a little kid nine times out of ten, which makes him an asshole.

Medic is clearly insane. He loves blood and gore, and his horrid experiments...I feel like puking just thinking of it.

Sniper is always cranky, and I'm usually the only one around when he wants to take out his anger. He's shot near me once or twice in battle, and that's why we usually lose...

Spy is the worst, word-wise. He always knows what cuts me deep. He's the one that makes me cry the most, and then he hands me resignation papers once he's done taunting me. I have one filled out, but then again, I also have a pre-tied noose hanging in my closet. He's the one that makes me cry the most, Scout in close second.

Heavy is the worst, physical-wise. He's so big...And he always shouts, and laughs loud. Whenever I'm around him and he isn't shouting, which isn't often, he always keeps a keen eye on his surroundings. His eyes scare me. They stare into my soul, even when I'm not making any sort of physical or mental contact with him. He's the one that scares me the most.

When I get to my room, I lock my door behind me and collapse onto my bed on top of a pillow, which I clutch to my face to cry my heart out into.

I eventually cried myself to sleep, with no dinner as usual.

 

Heavy's P.O.V.

 

(Y/N) is hurt. I want to help her. But she's scared of me, which is something I deeply regret. If I could change myself, just to help her, I would, even though I'm perfectly fine with, and even like, the way I look.

My strength helps my family, and provides them with money to help them live. It also gets me a cup of tea or two every once in a while, which is relaxing. But it does not help her relax...

I go up to her room and hear her crying, as usual...

I sigh deeply. The crying stops, replaced with quiet panicked breathing. I walk away to give her peace. She starts crying again, and I kick myself.

"GOD DAMMIT!" I hear a small yelp. Okay, that's one of the things that scare her.

"Heavy, it's time for dinner!" I groan and go downstairs.

"Heavy does not want to eat!" Medic chuckles.

"Nonsense! Ich won't hear of it, mein Freund."

"And yet you will hear of (Y/N) being underfed?" He scoffs.

"If she will not come down here, too bad! She clearly does not want to eat."

"Because all you do is scare her and make fun of her. She does not want to be insulted more." The Spy starts laughing.

"If she could not take a few constructive comments, she should not be 'ere." I pick the Spy up by his mask.

"Others, maybe. But you? All you do is insult her because of gender, strength, patriarchal reasons, and your fear of not being strong. You would do well to leave her alone, and if you do not, I will snap you like twig." I set him down. I then turn to look at Scout.

"Same goes to you, leetle man. If you do not stop blaming her for the few losses we do have, I will squash you like bug." I then stalk off.

"why's he gotten so defensive of the broad all of a sudden? he knows he doesn't have a chance, right?" I walk back into the room, pick Scout up, then snap his back over my knee.

Everyone gasps. I glare at them all, to show I mean business, then leave. They start muttering. I don't care. I've been talked about before, and it does not affect me.

 

Your P.O.V.

 

When I wake up the next day, I see a pile of paper at my door. I groggily get up and pick one up, reading it.

'(Y/N), I am so so sorry for blaming you for our losses. They don't even happen that often, and I have no right to complain. I'm sorry for always pointing out your faults, too. I'm just a huge asshole, and I'm super sorry.'

I drop the paper in shock. No, this must be a joke...

I read the others.

'I apologize for being too harsh'-

'I feel so sorry for you. Do I scare you? I don't mean'-

'I'm sorry for being drunk all the time, I just can't help'-

'Are you okay? I am so sorry that I haven't been protecting you enough, I feel so'-

'I try not to show my insanity, I am so sorry that I haven't been watching your health, I'- 

'I'm sorry for firing at you once or twice, I didn't'-

'I apologize for all my comments, it was just to try and build my self-confidence, I shouldn't have called you'-

One, in particular, catches my eye.

'I'm sorry that I scare you. I don't want to scare you, I want to help. But unfortunately, I can't, because you're scared. If you were wondering why they all started suddenly apologizing and being nice to you, I snapped Scout's back last night in your defense. Please, don't be scared anymore.'

I blush lightly. He did that...for me?

I walk downstairs. Everyone is chatting until they see me. They immediately quiet. Scout is the first to speak up.

"Toots, I'm-" I smile and shake my head.

"It's fine. You don't need to apologize. The letters were enough." They all relax and go back to chatting. Engie hands me my food, then sits down with his own. I notice that there are two empty chairs, sitting next to each other.

"Do I...Have a seat now?" They nod. I sit down and smile. I've never been so respected in my life...

"Leetle girl is comfortable now?" I nod. Heavy sits down next to me. I jump and stiffen up a bit, before relaxing back into my seat slightly. I'm still scared of him...

 

*timeskip*

 

Your P.O.V.

 

I'm getting chased by the other team's Scout, and I know he'll catch up eventually, which scares me. He chases me over a ledge, then laughs. He knows I'm at low health. I brace myself for impact, but it never comes.

I open my eyes, and I find myself in the arms of Heavy, Sascha abandoned beneath me. I look up at him.

"Is leetle girl okay?" I nod slowly. He places me down gently, then pulls out his sandvich and gives it to me. I take a bite, my health rising.

"Don't you usually save these for Medic?" He nods, then shrugs.

"Am I not allowed to heal who I want? You would have died. I wanted to save you." I smile and hug him.

"Thank you." He gently hugs back, probably afraid of hurting me.

"приветствую вас, любовь." (pronounced 'privetstvuyu vas, lyubov.' means 'you're welcome, love.' X3)

I smile and pull away, finishing the sandvich and thanking him again quickly, running off with my crossbow in hand.

*timeskip(longer one)*

 

Your P.O.V.

"Are you ready?" I nod. Heavy takes his hands off my eyes to let me see what I'm touching.

I gasp when I see Sascha. I quickly take my hand off. He chuckles.

"Don't be afraid! It's just Sascha."

"But it's your gun..."

"You can use her if you like. So now, is our gun." I turn to look at him.

"Really? But, Heavy..." He shushes me.

"Does not matter to me. You need to be better protected. I cannot be there in person, so my weapon will be there for me. I will just use Natascha." I smile and hug him.

"Thank you Heavy."

"Я люблю тебя." I look up at him questioningly. He starts blushing.

"Wait- I didn't- Did you understand what I said?" I shake my head.

"Oh thank god..." His blush dies down.

"What did you say?" His blush returns.

"Is not appropriate for me to say..." I giggle, now getting the gist of what he said. I kiss him on the cheek.

"私もあなたを愛してます, Heavy." He smiles and chuckles. (pronounced 'Watashi mo anata o aishitemasu', meaning 'I love you too')

"Was obvious, I'm guessing..." I nod. He picks me up bridal style suddenly, making me yelp.

"We go together, ангел." I smile and cuddle into his chest. (pronounced as and meaning 'Angel' X3)

Kinda cheesy and quick, but I was starting to crush on him ever since he caught me from that fall. So, we were meant to be? Question mark question mark question mark? Eh, who knows. This ending was rushed. Thank you, and goodnight.


	4. Helmet Party(Cross-faction)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soldier X Engie, whatcha gonna do?

Engie's P.O.V.

It's boring, just sitting here and guarding the intel. I wanna go out on the field, but I also don't wanna ruin my perfect death record. Actually, the Administrator said I needed to die more, according to Miss Pauling...

Outside it is.

I take my pistol and my Frontier Justice with me, relying on the accuracy and the guaranteed crits. I run up the ramp and am met with a hiding Medic. I pull out my Justice and race up to him.

"Are you okay, pardner?"

"Zhey have Uber, and mein Heavy just died!" I cock my gun.

"On me, Doc." He nods and pulls out his Kritzkreig, bathing me in the Red glow. I race out just as I hear the Uber wearing off.

"What the-" I one-shot the Soldier and drop the fleeing Blu Medic easily.

"Nice goin', pardner!" Medic cheers and I race out, wrecking the Blu team. I eventually run out of bullets in my Justice and pull out my pistol.

"Ready to charge!"

"C'mon, hit it, Doc!" He hits the charge, and I can feel the power surging through me.

"YEEEEE-HAW!" I put down some more Blu members and make it into the Intel room somehow.

"Alright, now how do we do this? He's got a level three in there, and as far as Ah'm concerned, we don't have our Spah around..." Medic thinks.

"Well, zhe sentry only fires based on team colour, right?" I turn to him and smile.

"Yeah! Okay, you don't hafta go in with me." I put my pistol down and pull off the straps to my suspenders.

"Woah, woah, what are jou doing?!" I let out a small laugh as I continue stripping.

"Not gettin' shot, Doc. That's what Ah'm doin'." I finish, pick up my pistol, and charge into the room, letting out a battle cry as I grab the case and race out. I look at the killboard, and see that the Blu engineer killed himself. I chuckle and stop outside the intel room, picking up my clothes and pulling them back on.

"Ich will have to bleach mein eyes..." I chuckle and pull the Red bands out of my suspender pockets, abandoning my shirt.

"Wait until after the battle, Doc." I pull the bands on and race out with the briefcase. Medic heals me again, which I appreciate. We get back to our intel room easily, most likely because everyone was staring at me in shock.

 

Soldier's P.O.V.

 

As the Red Engie raced past spawn, I pulled out my rocket launcher, but then I saw that he was topless. I stared in awe until they were out of sight. Who knew someone built like that could have that kind of physique...

I shake my head to snap out of it and race after them, intent on getting back my intelligence. But lo and behold, what do I see but everyone staring at his body as well.

"THAT IS HIS BODY! YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO STARE!" I kill the rest of the Red team that I can see, then pull out my whip and turn to my team.

"WHO WAS STARING?!" Everyone raises their hands. I whip all of them raw, not noticing that the duo has stolen our intelligence twice now.

"YOU MAGGOTS! THEY ARE ONE CAPTURE AWAY FROM WINNING!" I race off, pulling out my shotgun and racing to the intel room. I immediately stop when I see the Red Medic in a corner, averting his eyes.

"Jeez, Doc! Ah've done this thrice now! Y'all should be used to it!" I peek around the corner to see the Red Engie buck nude. I stop looking quickly as a bright blush takes over my face.

"Wait, who was that?" I turn tail and run, not wanting to get caught peeking.

"Why does leetle Soldier blush?" I shake my head and start banging it on the resupply locker.

"Hey, stop bangin' yer head, mate! Tell us wha happened!"

"I found out how the Engie got past the sentries..." They all gag. I turn away from them and smile softly. He's really intuitive...

"monsieur, if i did not know better, i would zay that 'ou are in love with 'im. but i know better, zo i will keep my mouth shut." I smack him.

"Oh, like nobody knows you and Red Sniper are together!" Spy pales a bit.

"It'z...zat obviouz?" I nod.

"Not to the Administrator, of course, because otherwise, she would end you." He nods and walks away. I chuckle.

"Ceasefire is tomorrow, correct?" I turn back around and nod.

"Well, it'll be some nice time for Demo to catch up with their Soldier." Demo cheers.

"Y O U F A I L E D!" I drop my weapons when the Administrator says that.

"I totally forgot we were losing for a second..." Then we get spawn-killed...as usual...

 

Engie's P.O.V.

 

"Are you sure you have no clue who was spyin' on me?" Medic nods.

"If Ich did, Ich would tell jou, would Ich not?" I stamp the ground in anger.

"DAGNABIT, NABIT DAGIT!" I stomp off to my room, not caring when Scout laughs at me. Somebody saw me naked, and there's a high chance that it wasn't my clone on the other team.

I close the door to my room and pull out a photo of my only boyfriend; John Doe. He was so handsome...and I had to cover up my sexuality with stupid girls. Why do people like girls? They're far too squishy and needy.

I remember my first meeting with John like it was yesterday...

 

*obligatory flashback*

 

3rd Person P.O.V.

 

A young man was rushing to his first class of the day, due to having overslept.

Another young man is rushing to class as well, even though he probably shouldn't show up, he's so late.

They don't see each other, and collide. The first young man was holding books, which have now scattered all over the sidewalk. The second was holding a bag of gun magazines, and most of them stayed inside, but a few have spilt onto the path.

They both sputter apologies and start gathering them up for each other.

'Why does he have a bag of weird black boxes?' The first wonders, not knowing of violence or firearms, coming from a well-educated somewhat city-based family.

'Why does he have so many books?' The second wonders, for he comes from a rural farming family, and doesn't really know about higher education.

"Are you okay, mister?" The first says. The second gets a bit stand-offish.

"I'm fine, shorty. What about you?" They exchange their items.

"Ah'm fine. Why do you got a bunch of black boxes?" The second cast a questioning glance at the first.

"You don't know what they are?" The farmer boy pulls out a mag and shows it to the educated one.

"It's a bullet cartridge, for a .45 magnum pistol."

"What...What's a pistol?"

"What? Well then..." The second gestures to all of the books.

"What are all the books for?"

"Education."

"Education? What's that?" The first's jaw drops.

"Okay. I can miss class for this." He positions all his books to be held in one arm, then grabs the farm boy and drags him over to a bench.

The two educate each other on education and guns, among other things. Some people watch them for a bit, before moving on to their classes. By the time they've both finished talking, it's the end of the day.

"AH HELL! AH MISSED ALL'A MAH CLASSES!"

"SHIT! SARGE IS GONNA KILL ME!"

They both look at each other and chuckle.

"Well, all this time together and Ah never learnt your name, Soldier." The military major extends a hand. The engineering major takes it and shakes it.

"John Doe."

"Dell Conagher. Tickled pink ta meetcha."

"Same to you, cutie." Dell blushes lightly and drops John's hand.

"Ah'm not cute..." John chuckles.

"You keep on thinking that. Anyways, I'd love to get to know you better. Not the you that knows what education is, you-you." Dell smiles kindly.

"Ah'd love to know that too. Are ya free tomorrow?"

"Sure am. Wanna head over to the cafe on grounds?" Dell nods. John takes out a piece of paper and a pen, scribbling something on it, then handing it to Dell.

"Just tell me it's you." Then he walks off with his bag of mags. Dell looks at the paper. There's a number scribbled on it. He smiles and folds it carefully, putting it in his pocket before picking up his books and walking back to his dorm.

 

*flashback end!*

 

Soldier's P.O.V.

 

Dell was always a cutie...The Red Engie reminds me of him, kind of. If he grew up.

"If 'ou want to catch ze Red Engineer, 'ou want to go now." I snap out of my thoughts and run outside, immediately spotting the Red Engie heading towards his truck.

"HEY! ENGIE!" I wave enthusiastically. He turns and casts a questioning glance at me. I stop in front of him and catch my breath.

"I was...impressed by your killstreak yesterday! I just wanted to know how you did it." He smiles.

"Well, d'ya mind if we talk while Ah go shoppin'? My team is terrible about their diet..." I nod. Then I notice he's wearing civilian clothes.

"I probably need to change, don't I..." He chuckles and nods. I shrug and shed my jacket, tying it around my waist.

"Uh, yer helmet too, Soldier..." I groan and take off my helmet, squinting when the light hits my unprotected eyes. I notice him blushing, but I brush it off as a trick of the light.

"Okay, I'm ready to go." He smiles and continues walking to his truck. I walk with him.

"Do ya have a name besides 'Soldier'?" I nod.

"Lieutenant Colonel John. How about you?" He chuckles.

"Just Dell." I freeze. He turns to look at me once he notices.

"You okay?"

"Dell...Conagher?" His eyes widen.

"John Doe?" I race forward and crush him in a hug. He hugs back.

"How long has it been...Ten, twenty years?" I pull back.

"Do you still...?" He nods and pulls me forward, crashing his lips onto mine. I kiss back immediately, getting back into the groove quickly. It feels like I never left...

Eventually, we pull away from each other, out of breath. I smile at him. He smiles back.

"Maybe we could get...more acquainted with each other once we get back?~" He sends me a sultry look. I grin.

"Yessir."


	5. (Red!)Engineer X (Red!)Reader(part one!)

Your P.O.V.

I bounce on Demo's stickys, which affects my health, but also launches me into the air for an ultimate Blu-team-killing barrage! Nearly all of them are sent back to spawn, and I crater into an intel room.

"You gotta practice landin', darlin'." I groan and drag myself over to the dispenser.

"Shuddup, Engie." He chuckles and helps me along, then props me up on it.

I moan in relief as the red healing glow surrounds me. The Engie goes back to watching the intel. I observe his actions. He's always making sure that nothing has moved, and whenever a cloaked Spy approaches, he can spot it immediately.

"Hey Engie, do you have O.C.D.?" His head whips over to me, his face flushed with embarrassment.

"Ah didn't, didn't know you were still here. Uh, yeah, didn't know until I joined the team actually. The doctors at home never diagnosed me with nothin', so Ah thought it was just natural to be as attentive as Ah was. Shouldn't you be out there in the battle?" I shrug.

"I got my kill quota before I cratered, so no need." He nods and comes over, sitting down next to me.

"Are ya sure Medic won't get mad?" I chuckle.

"I don't know, and I don't care. I nearly cratered, a very painful death. I'm pulling myself a pass." Engie nods and sets up his Rancho Relaxo next to us, just for the beer.

Pyro wanders in at one point and sits down on Engie's Relaxo. Neither me or Engie mind.

After the battle, I'm faced with an angry man of medicine.

"Where were jou." I shrug nonchalantly and try to walk past him. He puts an arm out to stop me. I sigh.

"With the Intel."

"Why weren't jou on zhe battlefield, where jou were supposed to be?" I shrug and try to push past him again. He stops me again.

"You should not resist Doktor..." Heavy places a hand on my shoulder to make sure I don't go anywhere. I groan.

"I had gotten my kill quota, and I protected the intel a couple times. It doesn't matter." Then I remembered I was the team's only other healer.

"Jou...abandoned us...because of PURE LAZINESS?! WHAT ZHE FUCK!" I roll my eyes and look up at Heavy.

"does zhe fraulein have her mittelschmerz?" I ask quietly while Medic is raging. Heavy groans and nods. Medic stops yelling.

"UND WHAT ARE JOU ZWEI TALKING ABOUT?!" We both look Medic straight in the eyes and shrug, which gets him angrier. Heavy lets me go and I run.

I exit my room at dinnertime, hoping I can avoid Medic. I end up running into him, but don't get in trouble. Mostly because he wasn't paying attention to me, he was paying attention to Heavy. Who was kissing him. I quickly and quietly ran, not wanting to disturb their moment.

"Geez, took ya long enough." I roll my eyes and scoff at Scout.

"Oh, like you haven't seen what Medic does when he's mad." Scout groans out of a need to complain about something and finding nothing.

"This sucks on ice..." I whap him over the head and get my plate, sitting down on the couch and digging in.

"You eat like a pig." I continue eating, deflecting Scout's pubescent insult.

"Oh, so you've gone deaf, too? No wonder you didn't hear us calling for ya while we were dyin'." I lose my patience for a moment, before going back to eating.

"HEY! HENTAI BITCH! WHY DON'T YOU BE USEFUL AND SUCK OUR DICKS?!" That was the final straw. I like to think I have a good handle on my anger.

"That's it."

I set my plate down and walk towards him. He chuckles, until I place my hands on the sides of his face. I lean in close to him.

"well, this took a sudden turn..." He says while blushing.

"so will your neck." I snap his neck, then get away from his face, walk over to a window, and toss him out of it.

"Jesus, darlin'. A bit angry?" I nod and go back to the essential act of eating, finishing up quickly as usual. I go back upstairs, to realize I probably shouldn't be here. There's thumping coming from Heavy's room, a sure sign to get the fuck away. I run back downstairs.

"What's up, sheila? You usually go back to your room after you're done." I shrug.

"Heavy and Medic are probably doing the nasty, eh lass?" I nod and sit down in the corner, pulling out my phone and earbuds.

"You could help me in the workshop, darlin'. Ah could use the help." I get up and nod, putting my stuff away. He smiles and leads me to his workshop.

It's filled with different mechanical parts, both Red and Blu. The Blu parts were most likely picked up after he destroyed a teleporter or dispenser, or given to him after Spy sapped a sentry. The Red parts look like they'd all go together if he could figure out how to do it.

His personal mini-sentry perked up when he came in. He chuckled and patted it. The sentry emitted a happy-sounding beep. I giggle and follow him to his table.

"Whatcha working on right now?" He pulls out a spare wrench and hands it to me.

"A mini-dispenser and a new item for Scout, the Tossable Teleporter." I 'ooh'd.

"Sounds intriguing." He nods.

"You know how dispensers work, right?" I nod.

"Well, the mini-dispenser only needs a bit more work before Ah can deploy it on th' battlefield. Would you mind fine-tuning it, and seeing if it works for anyone other than me once it's done?" I nod. He smiles and turns to a little Red canteen, what I'm guessing is the Tossable Teleporter.

I look at the mini-dispenser, and see that it's mostly done, it just needs a few things connected. I finish it quickly, then pick it up and turn it on. I get some crossbow bolts and the familiar red glow surrounds me. I smile and bring it out to the others. They all congratulate the Engie on his achievement, then I bring it back to the workshop.

"It works for everyone." He smiles.

"Good! Ah was worried that it wouldn't work." I smile as well and sit down next to him, keeping him company while he works on the TT prototype. Suddenly, he whoops with joy, startling me.

"AH'M DONE! THIS IS THE GREATEST THING AH'VE EVER DONE! Oh, uh, sorry darlin'." I giggle.

"It's fine. Want me to go give this to Scout?" He shakes his head and stands up. I stand up with him.

"Ah want ta see this in action mahself." He looks genuinely giddy. He walks out of the room. I follow him.

"Whaddya want, hardhat?" Engie holds out the canteen.

"It's somethin' new Ah made for ya. Toss it anywhere ya want, and it teleports ya there after a few seconds. Takes place'a yer pistol, or yer Mad Milk, or whatever you're usin' in battle these days." Scout smiles.

"Thanks, hardhat! I'm guessin' that this is a test run?" Engie nods.

"Ah want to make sure it works first, before I add it to the Community Workshop list."

"Sure thing. Let's go to the testing range!" They start walking along. I follow after them quietly. Engie's so smart, it's amazing! He's always working on something new in his lab, and he even lets the other team in on his inventions. He's so sweet!

Once we arrive at the item testing range, the Scout immediately tosses the canister to the far end of the room.

"DAGNABIT, BOY! BE CAREFUL!" The Scout chuckles nervously, then disappears in a flash of Red. I look over to the other side of the room, and see him standing there in a daze, with a giant curvy cut on his arm.

"Woah, that was- AAAAAAH! MEDIC!" He starts running around and panicking when he sees his splinch.

"Ugh, vas ist los?" I smile meekly.

"He got splinched..." Medic sighs and grabs the Med Bottle floating there, bringing it over to Scout.

"You should've waited, boy! Ah was about to tell you that you needed to wear something for safety purposes! Ah'm surprised it worked at all without the tracker, t'be honest..." I giggle.

"YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD ME THAT ON THE WAY HERE, GRANDPA!"

"SHUT UP, YOU BASEBALL BAT-SWINGING PRE-PUBESCENT LENNY-BINDING LIME IDIOT!" Scout gets up and walks over to me, poking me in the chest threateningly.

"HEY, IT'S CALLED BEING COOL! LOOK IT UP, NARUTO!" Medic 'ooooh's.

"Oh yeah? You know what is REALLY cool? Flirting with an obvious lesbian, even when she has rejected you multiple times and has even told you that she's into girls." Engie whistled at that one. Scout's face went red.

"I- I- THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! HOW DID YOU EVEN KNOW SHE WAS A LESBIAN?!" I roll my eyes as Medic moves over to my side of the room, taking my side in the fight.

"She works making sure the broken laws are kept secret, and she also lugs around her .45 magnum and shotgun everywhere. She also looks and smiles at me more, and she's even asked me out once." Scout's jaw dropped.

Then I dropped the ultimate bomb.

 

 

"I'm getting more pussy than you ever will."

Things went batshit.

Medic roared with Schadenfreude and patted me harshly on the back.

Engie couldn't take it, his hands flew to his temples and he started screaming.

Everyone else surrounded me and started screaming at how epic I was.

Scout died right then and there.

I smiled cockily, knowing that I had shut Scunt down once and for all. He would never bother anybody again as long as I was around.

"Darlin', that was amazing!" I giggled and looked at Engie, who was smiling widely.

"Thanks, Engie." He smiled a bit more, before considering something for a moment.

"Darlin', uhm, could ya...uhm..." A light blush started to spread across his cheeks. The others started to back off.

"Would ya...maybe, uh, help me out again? With my inventions? Uh, anytime you like, Ah'm not picky..." I giggle and Pat his helmet.

"Sure thing, Engie. It's a date." He blushed harder.

"W-wait, not like, date-date, right? Just, like, a date like an ap-appointment, right? Yeah, yeah, that's it..." I chuckle at how cute he is.

"I look forward to working with you again." He smiles at me again.

"Me too, sugar cube."


	6. Booty Shorts(Heavy Medicine)

Medic's P.O.V.

I hopped around during battle, trying not to get hit by any of the stray bullets that went my way. For some reason, they only tried to hit Heavy, which saved me a lot of time.

When a Soldier gibbed us with his Equalizer taunt, we spent a few seconds churning through respawn. When we came out, Heavy had a Mann. Co loot crate.

"Vell? Vhat are jou vaiting for?! Open it!" Heavy smiled at me.

"Doktor, I need to buy key first. After battle, I will open. For now, we kill tiny baby men." I nod excitedly and start pocketing him again as he runs out with Sascha ready to go.

 

*Timeskip*

 

Heavy's P.O.V.

 

Once we won the battle, I went over to the Mann. Co stall to buy a key. It was no problem, but I was a bit jittery with anticipation. Would it be a new weapon, or something useless like a wig for me to wear?

When I opened it, I was shocked. It was an item called the 'Jungle Booty', and too revealing for my tastes.

"Hmm, it is level fifty to start with, though..." I shrugged and went to my room to try them on.

 

*Some time later*

 

Medic's P.O.V.

 

All of us were gathered around the dinner table, except Heavy. He was probably critiquing his new item.

When I looked up from my meal, Heavy walked in. I looked him over aND HOLY JESUS FUCK WHAT IS HE WEARING

I started to blush madly. Heavy was wearing booty shorts with pistol holsters to tie the look together, and knee-high boots. His thighs looked amazing. I forced myself to look back down at my food, not wanting him to notice my hungry stare.

"Is a bit revealing, but comfortable. None of you mind?" They all murmured that they didn't mind, because they knew that if they voiced their opinion, they'd be crushed. I kept silent, because I knew that if I said anything, he would never like me again.

I liked the friendship we had going. It let me be close to him. But if I were to voice my true intentions, I would be crushed and Heavy would never let me heal him again.

"Are you alright, Doktor?" I chuckled.

"Oh, sure I'm fine! Except for the fact that I want to push you to the floor and fuck you senseless." Spy chuckled at my remark.

"Oh, Medic, lusting after the Heavy again? You know you can always ask me to get things from him. I know when he showers, as well." I blushed madly again, at the thought of Heavy in a hot and steamy shower.

"Doktor? What is going on?" I cleared my throat.

"Nozhing, nozhing..." I shoved food into my mouth to avoid talking. I had to go before I embarrassed myself further.

 

Heavy's P.O.V.

 

Medic seemed perturbed by my clothing choice...Maybe I shouldn't wear this. He was also talking in German to the Spy...Who cares right now. I need to eat.

I started eating slowly. By the time I had gotten through a fourth of my plate, the Medic was finished and leaving quickly.

I sighed. I put these on in the hopes of pulling his attention in a good way. No way was he ever going to respect me again now. I should just throw these away...

I sighed again and got up, leaving my dinner. I didn't have an appetite anyways. I trudged out and upstairs. Before I got to my room, I heard some noises coming from Medic's room.

"ach...oh, Scheiße..." I pressed my ear up to his door cautiously. Was he hurt?

I just heard more groaning and panting. I steeled myself and decided to look through the lock.

"Ach, fick mich, Heavy..." I froze. He said my name. I looked through the lock and immediately recoiled from it in shock. He was thinking about me...

...and masturbating. Well, riding a dildo, but still...

I peeked through again. He was completely naked and facing the door, his face a picture of pure bliss. He was flushed, and he gleamed slightly with sweat. Did I turn him on that much?

I looked down at myself, and blushed. These shorts did my crotch no favors, and now that I had my attention on it, it was painful. I quietly continued on to my room, trying to conceal my presence.

Well, I knew my Doktor was into me, at least. It might be because of the shorts...I might wear these more often, if that's the case.


	7. The Empty Box

A young boy was walking around after a battle won, and came upon a box.

"What's in there?" His Bostonian accent was prominent in his speaking as he bent down to examine the box.

The box seemed fancy enough to be owned by one of his teammates, a Frenchman with expensive tastes. When he opened it, it was empty.

"Well, might as well take it..." He picked it up and walked back to the base with a hop in his step, per usual.

Once he got back to the base, one of his teammates came up to him.

"Where did you steal the box from?" The Frenchman aforementioned had a voice dripping with suspicion as he took a look at the box.

"I didn't steal it! I found it after we won, Laurent." Laurent glared at the young boy.

"Do not call me that, James. You know I only go by my class name." James rolled his eyes.

"Me too, you freaking crouton." Laurent huffed and walked away. James walked into the common room, where everybody usually is.

"Hey guys, do any of you know whose this is?" The team doctor came up and examined the box.

"It seems like something Herr Spy might own...But I'm guessing you already asked him?" James nodded at the slightly insane German doctor, who shrugged at his response.

"Then, it seems like it belongs to you, if anyone does not claim it in the next five seconds."

They waited.

Nobody said anything.

"Then, all I will say is take good care of it. It seems old." James nodded and ran up to his room to put it somewhere safe.

"Do you really think he's gonna take good care of it? I mean, he's a kid..." The drunk Scotsman had a point. James was only 21, and way too energetic from all the soda he drank.

"Well, he found it, right? If he breaks it, it's his fault, and it doesn't really matter." Everyone nodded in agreement at this piece of wisdom from the short Texan engineer.

"Oh, who cares what happens to the box? It's time to eat! We won today, men, and we deserve some good food!" The six men in the room cheered at the militaristic Midwestern American's statement, and they all raced to the mess hall.

After dinner, everyone was tired and drunk. They all stumbled to their respective rooms, except for the Scottish demolitions expert, who passed out on the couch.

"Ah jeez, I gotta drag you to your room again?" James griped and whined as he dragged Tavish's unconscious form to his room. Once he was done, he went to bed himself, with the box resting on his bedside table.

The next morning, James wasn't as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as he usually was. He still talked a lot, but not as much. He still moved around a lot, but not as much.

"Scout? You feeling alright?" The tall Australian put a comforting hand on James' shoulder.

"I feel fine, Snipes. Jeez, I'm not a baby!" The Sniper huffed and smacked him before returning to his food.

"You twitchy hooligan..."

That day, in battle, Scout wasn't performing his best. He wasn't as fast, and he was low on the scoreboard. Afterwards, the hot-blooded American grabbed James by the collar.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT IN BATTLE TODAY, SON?!" James shrugged.

"I dunno." The Soldier dropped the poor boy and grumbled, stalking off.

"Hey, don't worry about Jane. He's still happy we won, he was just expectin' you a little higher in the ratings." James nodded.

"Thanks, Dell."

"Of course, son." Dell walked off to start cooking dinner with the Medic.

Things got worse as time went on. James got less and less motivated each day, almost as if he was emptying of energy.

One day, the Medic decided that enough was enough.

"I'm taking the box tonight."

"Henrik, you wouldn't do that! Would you?" Laurent cast a questioning gaze at Henrik.

"He's performing worse every day, and I believe the box is somehow behind it. Ich werde diese Scheiße nicht mehr nehmen! I'm taking the verdammte box!" The German marched upstairs and threw open the door to Scout's room.

"Hey, Doc. What's up?"

"What's up? Oh, I'll tell you what's up! That box is deteriorating your mental state and ability! I'm confiscating it for medical reasons!" Henrik quickly took the box off the end table.

"What's in here, anyway?" He opened the box, and a great gust of air suddenly flew through the room. Scout quickly got angry.

"Yo! What's your major malfunction?! It's mine! I found it!" Henrik simply ignored this, turning away and walking out.

"Fascinating..." He started running tests on the box, to see if it had any magical properties that could somehow survive Halloween.

"What are you doing, Doctor?" Henrik looked up at the great Russian bear that stood before him.

"Oh, nothing, just running some tests. Why, are you bored?" Mikhail chuckled and shook his head.

"нет, is just...You look tired, Doctor. You should get rest, Да?" Henrik smiled.

"Ja, I suppose it is getting late. This time is probably the only time that I will come to bed the same time you do, though, mein starker russischer Bär." Medic stood up, taking the box with him. Mikhail looked at him questioningly.

"Why do you take box?" Medic smiled at his lover's endearing broken English.

"I want to keep it close for some reason. It's absolutely fascinating, and I might run some more tests early in the morning. I don't want to make any noise looking for it in the dark." Mikhail nods and kisses Medic's forehead.

"Я люблю тебя, Ludwig."

"Ich liebe dich auch, Misha."

They both went to bed shortly after, not really caring that the box lay so close to them.

The next morning, Ludwig didn't wake up how he usually did. No kiss good morning for Misha, just straight to work. Mikhail was slightly perturbed by this, and felt a bit sad.

He wouldn't dare disturb his Doctor, however, and went to clean his beloved mini-gun, Sascha, as normal.

"Doktor, I wish to know why you fought so much today. I died many times, and Soldier is on my back about score." Ludwig simply shook his head dismissively and went back into his lab to study the box.

"Oh, this is bad..."

"What's up, lardass? You and the Medic caught in a snit?" Misha glared at James, before sighing heavily.

"нет, we do not argue. He is just ignoring me in favor of stupid box..." James chuckled.

"Looks like he might not be so into you, tough guy. Maybe you offended him in some way? He's like a broad, emotional and confusing." Misha nodded.

"Спасибо, little man. Maybe we just need to talk." James nodded and walked away. Mikhail took a deep breath and walked into the lab, prepared to argue with Ludwig. Instead, well...

"Komme sie bitte, Herr Heavy. I need to run some experiments on you!" Misha sighed.

"Doktor, Heavy just wants to talk..."

"Shush! On the medical table, und prepare for your examination! I made a new device that might help you in battle!"

The doctor operated on Mikhail, leaving him a new man with a bigger heart(quite literally) and a robotic attachment. The madman somehow could make Mikhail invincible for eight seconds with this device.

"Can we talk now, Doktor? No more jokes, just discussing matters between us." Ludwig shook his head dismissively and continued working with the box. Mikhail growled.

"Doktor, please. This is last time I will ask nicely." Medic groaned and turned away from the box.

"Vas ist los, Heavy? Can't you see I'm working?!" Heavy exclaimed in annoyance.

"Exactly! You need to stop working on box!" Medic groaned and started tapping his foot in annoyance.

"And? The box doesn't matter. Now go to bed. You wouldn't understand what I'm doing." Mikhail felt his new augmented mega-baboon heart crack. Henrik always took the time to explain things when Mikhail didn't understand. What happened to his Doctor?

"Fine...Я люблю тебя..." Misha walked to their room after a few moments without reply. He felt hurt, less so than when he saw his Doctor dying on the field today, but his heart still ached.

The next morning, Henrik wasn't in bed next to Misha. When the Russian went to investigate, the German had passed out on his desk, with the box next to his head. Misha picked up the poor doctor and laid him in bed, going to the kitchen to get breakfast for himself.

He still cared for his dear Henrik Ludwig, but after last night? A surgery, then being forced into bed by Ludwig's apathy, without even an 'I love you'? He could get his own breakfast.

"DOKTOR!" Misha called. Ludwig kept on jumping around with his Blutsauger and Ubersaw, not caring whether he died again. Mikhail roared loudly, standing in front of his beloved and taking the bullets for him. He felt a sharp pain in his shoulder.

"SCHWIENHUNDE! I CAN TAKE THE BULLETS!" Misha did not care. He just swept up his crazy Doctor and carried him to a safe place with a Medpack. Medic took the health pack, while Heavy ate his sandwich.

"Get back out there, dummkopf! The team needs you!" Heavy growled in response. Medic didn't waver.

"And I need my Doktor. Healing makes me stronger, and we need to hit charge to kill tiny baby men. Why do you deny us win?"

"I want to slay them myself! I want to see the life drain from their eyes when I stab them clean through! I want to hear their cries for help while I gun them down with needles! You cannot deny me this, du dummer, schwacher Teddybär!" Heavy dropped his Medic and walked away, not caring anymore.

"Pyro! With me!" He called, and the mysterious firebug went with him to kill tiny baby men.

His heart ached. He took out his anger with bullets, but he still wondered what he had done wrong. Was he not good enough? Was his Doctor getting tired of him? All these questions floated around in his head at dinner.

"You alright, Heavy? Something happen?" Heavy sighed down at the Texan, considering not telling the team mother the one thing that would impact their wins forever.

"C'mon, I won't tell anyone."

"Fine. Medic and Heavy argue over strategy. He make me stronger recently, but it require his help. He won't give me help needed, so I cannot kill tiny babies on other team. He called me names. I do not know what I did wrong, and...He scares me these days..." Dell patted Misha on the shoulder.

"I'm sure it'll be okay, big guy. Maybe one of his experiments on himself actually worked, and he's visiting Aunt Flow." Misha cast him a confused look.

"Aunt...Flow?" Dell sighed.

"A period, alright? Menstruating." Misha nodded, confused. Why would his dear Henrik Ludwig make those adjustments, unless...

"Medic wants to bear child?" Engie started sputtering, his face heating up in embarrassment. Heavy sighed and walked away.

"Is Doctor on period?" Henrik tensed up.

"NO! I AM NOT ON MY PERIOD! And h-how did you know about my experiments?" Mikhail sighed deeply.

"Engineer told me of what you were working on. Now, why are you so cranky?"

"I am not cranky! I just want to battle for myself sometimes!"

"Да, but not three days in row, Doctor. You are back at my side after one life, usually. Why do you hold out?"

"BECAUSE I DO NOT NEED YOU! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE FOR ONE SECOND! JESUS CHRIST, I AM NOT A BABY!"

Misha was severely hurt by this. He flinched, then turned and left. He was just trying to show he cared...was he being too clingy?

Henrik gathered himself, then turned to apologize, only to find that Misha wasn't there. He was shocked for a moment, before turning cold.

"Bah, wer braucht ihn. Ich kann es alleine schaffen! Ich werde es ihm zeigen, ich werde ihn nicht einmal im Kampf heilen! Mal sehen, wie er damit umgeht!" He forced a smile onto his face, not really wanting to go through with his plan. But something compelled him to, and he didn't know what...

"DOKTOR!"

"DOC, C'MON MAN!"

"MEEEEEEEDIIIIIIIC!"

"MEEEEEEH-DIC!"

"DOCTOR!"

"MEDIC!"

"MRRDRR!"

"MEDIC!"

The insane doctor heeded none of their calls, least of all the Heavy. His Kuschelbär could wait until after battle, when he could patch him up properly. The others, he had no sympathy for. He kept running around and dying repeatedly, not caring, for there was Respawn.

"I swear to god, it's something to do with that darn box!" Dell paced as he explained why it would have to do with the box and his theories on how to stop it to the Pyro, but they were lost in dreamland.

"And I- Pyro, are you even listening? You always listen..."

"R'm srrRr, I hrrRsm drr'm srr wrr rr're so rrhrm thrm rm's thrr brrx ernd nrrm jrrsm srrm frm thrr Mrrdrr's hrrvrrn," The gasmask-insistent firestarter mumbled. (translation; I'm sorry, I honestly don't see why you're so sure that it's the box and not just some fit the Medic's having.) Engie sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Remember when Scout was off a bit?"

"Uh-huh."

"He had the box on him at that time, right?"

Pyro nodded, not really getting it in the Engie's eyes. Pyro was just playing around, though. They knew exactly what was going on.

"And when Medic took the box, it stopped, right?"

"OOOOOOOOH! NRM R grm rm!" The pyromaniac clapped happily at their understanding while Engie shook his head and chuckled. (translation; OOOOOOOH! NOW I get it!)

"So, I'm thinking, maybe if we took the box from Medic, it'd go back to normal with him." Pyro nodded.

"Mrbr wr srrd jrrst brrn thrr brrx." (Translation; maybe we should just burn the box.)

"Heh, well, we need to get it first!" Pyro nodded. They both exited the workshop and made their way to the Med Bay.

Frustrated German could be heard through the closed door. Dell cautiously opened the door to see the good doctor working on the box.

"Hey, Doc? Think this is a good time for our monthly brainstorm?" Henrik looked up.

"Bah, I do not have the time for some stupid thinking! I need to figure out this box!"

"That's what I want to brainstorm about, Doc. Figured you could use a hand, since you've done nothing but coop yourself up in here. Hell, Doc, you aren't even eating! I can see your bones!"

The insane doctor looked down and saw how skinny he was. He wasn't eating much to begin with, either...

"Ach, fine. But I do not want to eat. I'm not hungry." Engie came in, and Pyro followed quietly.

"Oh, Pyro. I forgot about our appointment. Sit down on the table and we'll get it over with quickly." Pyro nods and sits down, swinging their legs.

"Okay, take off the mask, bitte, and we can get to work."

Now that Henrik was fully distracted, Dell quietly ran over to the box. He opened the lid carefully. For a second, he could see a glowing cartoon-ish heart, but then it disappeared in a rush of wind.

"Okay, stay still. I don't want to hu-" The scissors Henrik was holding were dropped to the floor. He became fuller, and tears welled in his eyes.

"Oh gott, the things I said- HEAVY!" Henrik raced out to look for and apologize to his precious Kuschelbär, the one who he hurt unintentionally.

Dell puzzled at this, but just shrugged.

"Uhm...do you know when he might come back, Ingeniero? I still need my haircut..." Dell shrugged and left for his workshop.

"I need to get this to safety, then I'll come right back and give you your haircut, okay? I don't think he's coming back tonight. Or tomorrow, either. He'll probably be too sore to walk..." Pyro giggled.

"Hurry back, okay? My hair is getting uncomfortable under the mask." Dell nodded and raced off, dropping the box in an unused corner of his workshop, keeping his promise to hurry back.

It's been some time since Dell took the box from Henrik. Everything's back to normal now. Nobody argues more than usual, they're winning again, and a nice long ceasefire week was coming up due to damaged equipment.

Scout and Demo planned a party to celebrate. Both teams were invited, but the Engineers declined.

A ceasefire week was good time to put their heads together and think up new weapons, both able to be bought from the workshop and basic ones available to everyone. Although on opposing teams, they were still friends, and admired each other's intelligence. Blu Soldier and Red Demo were dancing with each other at the party, still friends as well.

There were many cross-faction relationships, some platonic, and others, something more. One particularly intriguing scandal was the relationship of the two Scouts, the only people on the teams that were related to each other. They were from Boston, but they might as well have been raised in Alabama, the way they were acting with each other.

The Engineers discussed this, along with some new plans for weapons, and implementation of old ones.

"Cut off your hand yet?" The Blu Engie nearly spat out his beer.

"Cut off my hand?! I'm not as crazy as you, Dell. I'm not cutting off my hand to be able to use that mini-sentry you designed. I'm not one to rush into battle." Dell nodded.

"True, Jeb. I never see you out there, not once, unless it's a control point map, and even then, that's rare." Jebediah chuckled.

"I wasn't raised around steers, hoss. I was raised around colts, considerably calmer. I guess that contributes to my easy-going ways?" Dell shrugged.

"That'd be a better question to ask the Medic. I don't know a thing about emotional or philosophical problems."

"True. We solve practical problems, now don't we?" They shared a laugh. It was a running joke with them, practical problems. They both put it down on their application papers, and they both introduced themselves with the idea.

"Okay, now let's get down to business.(to defeat...THE HUNNNNS) Scout found this box, and..." Jeb shushed him.

"That can wait till later. Now, I got some Medigun blueprints for the Medics. It has..." Dell sighed and cozied up. Once Jebediah got talking, it was hard to make him stop.

Some time later, they had pieced together all sorts of prototypes for the whole team, including some they would send to the Administrator herself for official consideration. Once they finished all of that, they were tired. So tired, in fact, that Jeb fell asleep on the desk, snoring loudly.

"You always fall asleep first, don'cha..." Dell picked him up and dragged him over to the Blu Heavy, who carried him back to their base.

"Hey Engie..." Dell turned around to come face-to-chest the Blu Soldier.

"Hey, honeybee. What's up? Other than you, of course." He smiled up at the considerably taller man.

"It's been some time since we've been able to see each other on any sort of ceasefire..." Dell nodded.

"You want to take out some frustrations, John?" John nodded. Dell chuckled.

"Well, I'd be much obliged." John promptly picked up Dell.

"Get ready, sweetheart." Dell laughed nervously.

"First, could we go back to the workshop? I got something I need to grab so I can study it in the morning." John obliged, carrying him to the workshop that Jeb had just fallen asleep in.

"The box?"

"Yup." John picked it up and examined it.

"What's so special about the box?"

"It messes around with people's emotions, psyches, and response to bodily needs. I need to find out why it's doing that so I can stop it." John shrugged and carried the box with him, setting it down on the desk a bit away from them.

John wasn't so focused on it, but Dell wanted to find out what was going on with every inch of his being. The box latched onto him, just like it had latched onto Henrik and James. There was something unnatural about that box, and it kept Dell up that night, even though he was especially tired after spending that time with John.

In the morning, Dell carefully made his way out of John's arms, having had a lot of practice, and went to the box. He opened it again but found nothing inside. He puzzled at this, pulling his clothes on quickly and going back to the ceasefire workshop. He pulled the box close and concentrated fully on it, working until the devil's hour in the morning.

Pyro found Dell slumped over the box, sleeping soundly. They mumbled to themselves under the gas mask and picked Dell up, carrying him to his room.

Then they took the box and burned it. They knew that something was definitely wrong with it, and he wouldn't let the candyland he saw instead of the real world be tainted by the deep shadow surrounding the box. It was pretty, but you can't always trust looks.

Pyro swept the ashes off the cliff, seeing the shadow dissipate into the colourful sky he saw. Then he saw that same light he always saw when the box was opened, only this time, the sound coming from it was like Dell's guitar.

James' sounded like some beats being tapped out on bongos.

Henrik's sounded like a violin.

They knew that music let the soul free, but they didn't know that the music itself was in the soul. What kind of evil possessed the box that it wanted to take away what made the people around the poor Pyro special? Pyro couldn't understand this, but they knew that it wouldn't mess with them for a while.

They turned from the cliff and skipped off happily, bringing their Rainblower with them. Anything could be solved with bubbles, and it made the babies they played with laugh! They loved bubbles.

They couldn't see the truth, the evil thing they did, but they knew when a true evil was around. They always protected their teammates from those evils, even when the team didn't realize it. Pyro was always sneaking around the base, keeping away the shadows and the dark spikes that threatened the team on a spiritual level.

The box had a heavy shadow around it since the start, and they had been trying to get to it ever since Scout found it. The rest of the team didn't understand, though, and they always kept him away from Scout's room, and they knew Spy would scold them again if they snuck into the Med Bay at night again. They didn't like getting scolded by him, he was mean...

But it all worked out in the end, didn't it? Everybody was safe, and nobody was the wiser to what happened to the empty box.


	8. Demo x Reader

Your P.O.V.

I was wandering around the base, getting the lay of the land. I needed to know if I were to function properly as a maid.

Suddenly, I bumped into someone.

"Ay, watch where you're goin', lass!" I stumbled back and dusted myself off.

"Sorry, sir. I wasn't paying attention. I'll watch where I'm going." I tried to move past him, but he fastened a hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay, lass." he burped mid-sentence. "I wasn't watching where I was going either, plus I'm drunk!" I giggled. He smiled and left me be, stumbling off.

I continued forward, wondering if all of them were as nice as him.

 

*Later~ MUCH later...*

 

Your P.O.V.

 

After their battle, they were beat. I made them dinner and left them to relax. I was glad that ceasefire day was soon, they needed a day off after a month of non-stop battles.

"Hello, leetle seester." I grinned up at Heavy.

"Hi, big brother! How many tiny babies did you kill today?" He grinned.

"I kill all of them three times, except Scout, for I lost count of how many times I kill." I giggled. He ruffled my hair.

"How was life at base for leetle seester?" I sighed.

"Same as usual, cleaning up everything. I got to play with Archimedes today, though." Heavy chuckles.

"Good. Even though you work, you need to find time for fun, hmm?" I nod.

"Thank you for your wise words, big brother." He nods and walks off to find his Doktor.

"Hey, lass? Wanna have a few rounds with me?" I turn and smile at Demo.

"As long as it doesn't turn into a drinking contest, sure. I'd love to." He smiles brightly and grabs my hand, dragging me to the rec room.

Everyone looks up when we enter. There are glasses full of booze set on the table. Everyone gathers round. I sigh. At least it's a drinking contest to begin with...

By my third glass, I'm drinking like a fish. Demo was drinking like a fish to begin with. The only reason I'm ahead is that he missed his mouth and spilt a few times, causing penalty seconds.

He's not far behind, though. I down my fourth just as he starts it. Soon enough, we're drink for drink, downing them like nobody's business.

Everyone's chanting, but I can't hear what they're saying. I just want to drink. Thank God I'm part Irish, otherwise, I never would have gotten this far.

Demo's getting a bit red in the cheeks, while I'm sure my whole face is flushed. We slam down our final empty glass at the same time, leaving everybody stunned.

"*burp* Hey, laaaass~" Demo leans heavily on me. I giggle loudly and wrap an arm around him.

"We're so drunk!" He laughs loudly and grabs his usual bottle from somewhere.

"Wanna get even drunker?" Before I can nod, Medic takes the bottle from his hands.

"Awwww, Doc! *hic* C'mon, lighten up a bit!" Medic sighs and steps back a bit when I reach for the bottle.

"Jou are both drunk off jour asses. Get to bed." Then I notice Demo's gone somewhere. I shrug and get up, almost immediately falling over. Demo caught me, though.

"That would've been quite a fall." He burps again and helps me up. I smile and fall into his arms.

"Thanks, Tavish..." He nods.

"Not at all. Now, it's getting a bit late. Medic's right, we need to get to a bed..." He chuckled and dragged me upstairs.

The rest was a blur. All I remember, is that Demo and I went into what I assumed was his room, he pulled me towards him, and I blacked out.

The next morning, I woke up in a pair of strong, toned arms, that looked like they carried the strength to kill a child. (jarateman)

I looked up at who the arms belonged to. It was Demo, of course, but he seemed calm for the first time in his life.

I shifted slowly to get a better look at his sleeping face. His eye was closed, the other without his eye patch. His mouth was slightly open, and now that I had turned, he was breathing slowly in my face. He snored softly as well.

I giggled quietly and nuzzled a bit closer to him. He was warm and inviting, smelling of old books and fine brandy for some reason. He also faintly smelled like AXE body spray, but it had clearly been applied weeks ago, because the smell didn't bother me.

He suddenly woke up, his eye shooting open, then looking at me in shock.

"Lass? Wait, what the bloody hell did we do last night?" He released his grip on me and sat up. I pouted for a moment, then sat up too, bringing the covers with me to cover myself.

"I don't know. You brought me in here, then I blacked out. I'm guessing we probably had sex." He groans and puts a hand to his head.

"I can't believe I did that...I wanted to let you know while I was somewhat sober, not after a bloody drinking contest..." I cast him a confused look.

"What do you mean?" He turned to look at me. I'll never forget the look he gave me. It was full of affection, compassion, and hurt.

He pulled me into a kiss. I quickly reciprocated, and we started making out. After we pulled away from each other, he smiled.

"I guess that's it, then? You like me back?" I nod and smile.

"I liked you ever since I first met you. You were funny and nice. You listened to me when nobody else cared." He smiles and kisses my forehead.

"Not the way I wanted to tell you, but this was probably the best possible outcome, eh?" I giggle and nod. He chuckles and pulls me into another kiss.

Suddenly, the overhead crackled.

"Demo, congratulations on getting laid and getting a girlfriend." Everyone in the background started cheering. I blushed furiously. Demo was fuming.

"Way to go, cyclops!" Demo gently pushed me off of him and started getting dressed.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting ready to kill those numbskulls for making a laughingstock out of you and me." I chuckled and got up too, starting to pull on my clothes.

"Mind if I help?" He laughed and kissed my cheek.

"I'd love it."


	9. CBS x (Abused!)Reader

Your P.O.V.

He was doing it again...

My boyfriend had anger issues, and it didn't help that he was drunk half of the time. Like right now. One of his friends also doomed me even more by offering him some of their narcotics.

"(Y/N)! COME HERE, YOU LITTLE SLUT!" I shuddered and went as quickly and quietly as possible to my roid raging tormentor, trying not to whimper.

"Yes?" He made to slap me. I flinched. He laughed loudly, making me shake like a leaf.

"You can't handle some pain, you useless little slut?" He kicked me in the stomach. I fell to the ground and started crying.

"You're even weaker than I thought! Haven't you toughened up by now?" He continued beating me, not hurting me with his words anymore. At one point, he broke his bottle over my head, but I couldn't feel it. I was close to passing out.

 

*timeskip*

 

"(Y/N), you need to leave him." My friend and I were going on a hike. I sighed.

"If I do, he'll find me and probably beat me to death. I can't see a way out." She reached out to hold my hand. I flinched away.

"Sorry. Did I go too fast?" I nodded.

"D-Don't worry about it. You shouldn't care, anyway." She sighed and shook her head, slowly grabbing my hand to hold it.

"I do care. You can't stop me from caring. I'm going to protect you, hun." Suddenly, an explosion went off nearby. I yelped and shielded myself.

"Hey, hey hey hey, shh..." She pulled me into a hug. I shuddered away from her touch. When I relaxed, she started petting my hair and comforting me with her words. She always made sure I was okay whenever I got hurt or broke down. She dragged me away from John multiple times, once she even got hurt herself because of my weakness.

And what was I doing in return? Ruining her shirt with my tears. Making her stop just to make sure that I was okay, both extremely selfish and pointless. Being rude by rejecting her touch and lying to her about everything that was me. I'm a terrible person, and yet she stays with me, refusing to believe the truth. She's helped me so much, and I've only ruined her life in return.

I heard a quiet thud behind me, as if something landed after jumping off the trees. Morgan started shaking.

"D-don't worry, (Y/N), everything's fine..." I pulled away from the hug to look at her. She was terrified.

"No, it's not fine. What's happening?" She whimpered. I turned to look, but she grabbed my head and made me look at her.

'Don't.' she mouthed. I gave her a confused look. She just shook her head and continued staring behind me. Someone behind me walked away. Morgan relaxed instantly and sighed with relief.

"Who was it?"

"I don't know, but he was armed, and looked threatening. I was so scared that we would die." I hug her tighter. She hugs tighter in return.

"C'mon, let's get back to the hike." She nods and lets go. I let go too, and we continue walking.

 

CBS's P.O.V.(back to when the explosion happened)

 

One of the Soldiers rocket-jumps went awry, resulting in blowing himself up. I chuckled. Someone in the forest yelped, sounded like a female.

"Bloody hell, who's this close to a battlefield?" I climbed up the tree further, for better speed to get to whoever she was. I flew through the trees, eventually getting to a small clearing.

A pair of women were there, one with blonde curly hair and glasses, the other with (H/C) hair. The latter looked a little ragged, but it was kind of endearing. I lept down to get a better look at them. The blonde one started shaking.

"d-don't worry, (Y/N), everything's fine..." So her name was (Y/N)? It's a nice name...

I noticed that her clothes were dirty, and she had concealer on in awkward places. Was she getting abused?

"No, it's not fine. What's happening?" She turned, but her friend pulled her back. I could've sworn that girl had (E/C) eyes...They complimented her whole look.

I decided to stop terrifying the blonde one. But before I left, I pulled out a tracker and put it on (Y/N). Then I walked away.

I heard them talking a bit more, then I heard the leaves crunching beneath their feet as they walked this way. I growled to myself. They shouldn't be going this way.

Once they get close enough to where I am, I step out into their view.

The blonde one gasps and grabs (Y/N)'s hand.

"You shouldn't go this way. It's dangerous right now." The blonde one nods rapidly and tries to drag (Y/N) off. I walk over to them.

"And (Y/N)..." I stand in front of her and look down at her. She's shaking and looking down. I cup her face in my hands and coax her into looking up at me. She has tears in her eyes.

"You'll be safe soon, love." I let go of her and walk away. I can hear them chattering behind me, but I don't try to listen. I'm just waiting for her to get home so I can kill that son of a bitch who dared to lay his hands on a woman like that.

 

Your P.O.V.

 

"Okay, he isn't looking, let's go!" She squeezes my hand and drags me away.

"I wonder what he meant by safe..."

"Who cares what he meant?! We need to get to safety first!" I let her drag me off. It's not like this was my one place of safety...

 

*(Kill me)Later~*

 

Your P.O.V.

 

Once I got home, I smelled booze and pizza. He had his friends over again. I needed to sneak in, knowing he wouldn't know I was gone. He never knew unless I came in the front door, and that meant a beating.

I slipped to the back of the house, climbing through a window. I landed on the floor quietly in the kitchen. Thank God they were in the living room. I slowly crawl through the vent on the ground to a safe place(the bathroom) then make my way to my 'room', just as if I had just been using the bathroom.

My room wasn't much of a room at all. It was a dingy closet, and there was always at least one spider in there to keep me company. I barely had room to sit around the brooms, jugs of bleach, and empty bottles tossed in here that made it reek. I had considered chugging the bleach once, but Morgan was able to talk me out of it.

The friend who gave John the drugs, Jorell, was laughing loudly. He always did that whenever he offered John drugs. The time John took them, he laughed even louder than before. I had considered turning Jorell in for dealing dope, but I knew that John would know it was me, and then he'd beat me raw.

Jorell laughed louder than he did earlier. John had taken them again. I wanted to run so badly, but I couldn't. He'd find me, then kill me. Hot tears started running down my face. I desperately tried to stay quiet and tried to make myself smaller. I knew he would come up here.

I heard some crashing and screaming downstairs. Apparently, John had started taking out his aggressions on his friends as well. That probably meant more for me as well.

I heard somebody running upstairs. The person who threw my door open was Jorell. He was covered in blood and there was fear in his eyes.

"You gotta get out of here! There's a crazy guy who killed everybody downstairs, including John!" I was frozen with shock. He was...dead? He grabbed me and shook me.

"What the hell are you doing just sitting there?! Go, run!" Suddenly, something burst from his chest, getting blood all over me. He let go of me, dropping me to the floor. The knife was pulled out, and he fell to the floor, dead as a doornail.

I trembled with fear. Whoever this was, they were going to kill me next. I must not have realized how tired I was, because combined with the shock of being free, having somebody die in front of me, and not sleeping for three days, I passed out.

 

CBS's P.O.V.

 

Once he dropped to the floor, I saw the girl I was looking for. She was in a closet, most likely her room. I couldn't understand how she was sleeping there. It was filthy, even to me. I don't know how she tolerated it.

She was trembling for a moment, then she fainted. Probably because of the blood. It was easier for me, anyway.

I swept her up into my arms and carried her out. I stepped outside and nodded at Christian Pure Spy, who went inside and started cleaning up. He understood why I was doing this. Thank god he agreed to help me, otherwise I couldn't have done this.

I run back to my cabin. It's comfortable and safe there, the best place for her.

Once I get there, I set her down and check her for a phone. I grab it and see that she's at low battery. I hook it up to my charger, grateful she has the same type of phone I do, then check her clothes for sizes. I don't find any.

"Bugger." She looks like a medium in Men's, so I guess that's what I'm getting for her. Wait, scratch that, a small. I growl and am filled with gratitude that I killed them all. She'll be a medium soon enough, with proper feeding...

 

Your P.O.V.

 

I wake up in a bed. Like, a real one, and not my boyfriend's, either. I try to sit up, but hiss in pain and lay back down. Somebody comes in the room.

"You may not want to try and move for a while. The salve that's healing you right now doesn't exactly like it when you move." I quirk an eyebrow. Salve? Healing? Does...Does medicine have feelings?

The mystery person sits down on the bed and brushes some of my dead hair from my face. My eyes widen.

"Y-You. So...This is safe?" He nods and smiles gently. I smile back. He shifts a bit, visibly uncomfortable.

"Do you know what cup size you are? I had a hard time finding some proper underclothes for you." I blush lightly.

"Um...*insert cup size here*..." He blushes and smiles a bit wider.

"Okay. Thanks, love." I quirked an eyebrow again.

"Why do you keep calling me 'love'?" He grins like the cat that got the cream.

"Because you're sweet, tender, and beautiful. Just like love. You're also broken, but love can fix that too." He leans over and kisses me on the forehead. It leaves me in a tizzy. My first real loving touch...

"You should get some more sleep. See you later, darl." He ruffles my hair a bit and leaves. I fall asleep shortly after, craving being alone with no possibility of getting hurt.

 

*let's just skip the embarrassment of CBS shopping at Victoria's Secret lol*

 

Your P.O.V.

 

I woke up feeling completely refreshed. There was an outfit waiting for me on the dresser. I sat up, and relief flooded through me. The salve worked its magic, apparently, and I felt amazing. I checked myself over, and there were no bruises. I didn't even consider the fact that he rubbed his hands all over my body.

I went outside the room dressed in what he had given me. He looked up and smiled warmly.

"You hungry?" My stomach takes that moment to take action, and I blush deeply at the loud noise. He chuckles.

"Sit down, I got something for you." I cautiously sit down on the couch. He sits down next to me and spears some of the food with a fork, bringing it up and poking my mouth with it.

I blush and open my mouth. He continues feeding me for a few minutes, until the food is gone.

"I'm not a baby..." He chuckles.

"I didn't want you to choke. I had to, you probably wouldn't have been able to restrain yourself from scarfing it down." I giggle. He smiles widely.

"Why are you doing this? For me, of all people?" His expression darkens.

"I've had experience with what you went through, only much worse. The bloody wanks killed me, too. I still don't know how I'm alive today. I'm just glad I was able to help somebody else out." I blush and look down. He tilts my chin up to look at him.

"You have the prettiest (E/C) eyes...Like *insert beautiful flirty synonym to your eye colour here*." I blush harder. He leans towards me. I don't fight him.

It was the sweetest kiss I had ever had up to that point. I was tempted to kiss back immediately. After a few seconds, he suddenly pulls back, letting go of my chin and scooting away a bit, coughing awkwardly.

"I-I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me..." I smile and lean on his shoulder.

"It's okay." He sends a cautious smile my way. I smile back. We would have to take this slowly, but this could work out.


	10. Snippy(Cross-faction)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Sniper x Spy, btw. I put the names in a couples name generator and I love the name. :3 I s2g every time I looked at it while I was writing, I just said 'snippy' and laughed. I genuinely love this ship name. Also, fair warning; !TERRIBLE LEMON AHEAD!

Spy's P.O.V.

I sighed and watched the Red Sniper work for a moment. Never let it be said that he wasn't good at his job. My teammates were dropping like flies. He even nailed the Scout.

I checked my Diamondback. I still had a crit left. He was wearing a Razorback today, smart move on his part. I decloaked and approached him, my gun loaded and ready to fire. He suddenly turned around and grabbed my wrist.

"G'day. Did you forget I had ears?" He smirked as my jaw dropped slightly. I just assumed that he was distracted by his thoughts all the time...

He pulls out his Jarate. I immediately cringe.

"I won't fight, just please, mon dieu, don't douse me wiz zat filthy liquid." He puts it away and pulls out his Bushwacka. I sigh in relief until he pins me to the wall with it. I whimper as he removes the lid to the awful substance.

"I think I've caught you in a special place today, Spook. You were even watching me before you went in for the gun kill. And why is that, huh?" I gulp. He's caught on. He presses the lip of the jar to my lips.

"Tell me why, or I force this down your throat." I start sweating. How can I tell him? It's forbidden! I'm actually surprised he didn't catch me watching him in his camper. He's wonderfully tan and toned everywhere...

"Don't wanna speak up?"

I sigh and resign my dignity to the Bushman in exchange for personal hygiene.

"I...Je vous aime bien." He chukles evilly.

"I can't understand that. Say it in something we both speak." He cups my chin in his hand. I blush, and he smirks.

"I- mon dieu, I'm going to get killed by ze Administrator- I LOVE 'OU, OKAY?!" His eyes widen. He sets the jar down.

"Really?" I nod furiously, grateful he put the jar down. He takes out a notepad and a pencil, scribbling something down then tucking it into my jacket.

"See you in a minute." He removes the kukri from my shoulder, only to drive it through me and the wall. I cough up blood, splattering it all over him. Then the respawn process starts.

 

Sniper's P.O.V.

 

Hopefully, the note went with him. I remove my knife from his body. He crumples to the floor, dead as a doornail. I close his eyes, then dump his body out the window. I need to stay alive for the rest of the battle, I need to keep the blood on my knife.

The battle passes like a breeze. I go back to my camper immediately. I have some business to take care of, and if the note stayed, so will that Spook.

I carefully undress once I close the door to my camper, making sure no blood is rubbed off. I'm surprised that it's still wet. Suddenly, I hear a knock on my door. I answer it in my boxers.

"Bonsoir, Sniper. I got 'our note, and-" I pull him inside, then close and lock the door behind him.

"Uhm...Sniper? What are 'ou doing?" I look over at him and smirk, brandishing the knife again.

"Are...are 'ou going to kill me again?" I turn to face him fully and shake my head.

"It's your mess. Clean it off." I offer him the knife. He gingerly takes the handle, then looks at me questioningly.

"Zere isn't a sink...?" My smirk intensifies.

"Exactly. Clean it off well, and you might get what you want." I lean back against the bed and run my eyes over him expectantly.

 

Spy's P.O.V.

 

He wants me to...what? Lick off the knife? Maybe this turned him on or something.

I stuck out my tongue and gave it a small lick. I always found blood tasty, but this was just weird. His eyes alight with interest. He gestures to the floor in front of him.

I send him a confused look for a second, but then it clicks. My expression smoothly transitions from confused to sultry as I kneel in front of him. I run my tongue over the whole length of the knife and moan quietly.

I look over at him quickly to see my effect. He's half hard. Good.

I continue, cleaning up my blood in the most suggestive way possible. Once I'm actually starting to enjoy it, the knife is clean. I sigh quietly in discontent. He grabs my chin again and tilts my face up to look at him.

"Good job. You seem a bit discontented, though. Want something else to lick?" I nod once. He lets go of my chin and leans back, offering himself. I dive for his boxers, but he pulls me up.

"Ah ah. Not there. Start soft. I thought you were the master of romance?" I blush and move upwards, reaching his neck. Since he seems to like my tongue so much, why not play with him a bit? I press my tongue to his jugular vein and purr.

He groans in pleasure. I smirk and continue using my tongue on his neck, eliciting more sounds from him. He pulls me away from his neck. I give him a shit-eating grin.

"Fine. You've gotten me in a mood. Take it all off." I step back and soften my smile into a smirk. I may be dreadfully submissive to a fault, but I know how to put on a show for my dominator.

I gently loosen my tie, dropping it to the floor. He lays back, slight interest evident in his eyes. I shuck off my suit jacket gracefully, then slowly unbutton my shirt. He watches my every move, probably to see if I make any false moves.

My shirt also falls off me, and now he rakes his eyes over my body. I want to pose, but his exposed torso and the massive bulge in his boxers is edging me to go faster. I take a deep breath and take off my balaclava. His eyes widen, and he leans forward. I look away and blush in spite of myself.

"Wow. I didn't expect you to look like this..." He reaches up and runs a hand through my hair. I resist my urge to cringe away. It just reminds me more that I'm not getting any younger. The grey streaks running through my hair are a solid reminder of this fact.

He must have seen the hurt in my eyes, because he pulls his hand away.

"It makes you look dignified. Your hair would complement your look in that suit of yours." I look at him, shocked. He thinks I look good in the suit? He smiles.

"I never said I didn't like the way you looked, Spook. I honestly like you better than our Spook, looks alone." I blush again. Some French romantic charmer I am...

I tug off my gloves. He immediately grabs my left, hand, then turns it over to reveal faint scars, some old, some new.

"Spy..." I look away.

"Zose were from my childhood." He growls and tugs me closer. I somehow resist yelping in terror.

"Some of these are new. Who's the cause of this?" I hang my head, knowing he'll get the answer eventually.

"Ze want to do zis to myself comes from my own self-doubt. Don't worry about it." He plants soft kisses up my forearm. I gasp quietly and watch him. Once he's done he looks up at me.

"What doubts?" I shake my head and look away. He picks me up and lays me on the bed, then he lays down next to me and cuddles me to his chest.

"We're gonna lay here until you tell me. If that means skipping battles, getting fired, getting killed, so be it. But you can't keep this bottled up, mate." I feel tears streak down my face.

"Why do 'ou care?" He smiles.

"Because I did it too. The depression, the cutting, the drinking, the smoking. Let me tell you, none of it helps. What helps is talking." I press my face to his chest and cry. I cry for a good few minutes. He keeps holding me and rubbing my back the whole way through, offering kind words every few seconds.

I eventually stop crying. He tilts my chin up to look at him, then kisses me softly. I kiss back and smile. He pulls back and smiles.

"Feel better?" I nod. He kisses me again, but harder. I kiss back with as much intensity. One of his hands leaves my back, resting on the hem of my pants instead. I gasp softly. He pulls back again and smirks.

"We still have some business to take care of, don't we?~" I blush and gulp. He flips me onto my back and attacks my neck. I try to cover my mouth, but he pins my arms over my head with one hand.

"I want to hear you cry my name, love." I bite my lip. He grabs something, then ties my hands onto a bar above his bed. I send him a confused look.

"How do you think I got this body? I do curl-ups in bed." He attacks my neck with kisses. I can't hold back my moans when he finds my sweet spot. He bites and sucks on it until he's satisfied, pulling away from my neck and smirking.

"This'll be trouble to explain to your team~" I blush deeply. I didn't even consider explanations...

The thought is quickly driven from my head as he ghosts his hand over my crotch. I groan and pull against the belt he's tied me with. He chuckles and starts slowly undoing my pants.

"Don't worry, love. There are ways for me to go faster. For example...What's your name?" I gulp.

"It's...Victor. My name is Victor." He smirks and leans in close to my ear.

"The name you'll have the pleasure of screaming tonight is Mick~" He blows into my ear softly then tears my pants and boxers off me. I moan and hiss as I'm exposed fully to the cold air within the van. He pulls away from me and looks me over.

"Huh, I didn't expect you to be that big. I wonder how many times you'll cum tonight?" He removes his boxers, releasing his gigantic dick. I moan quietly and gulp down my fear. The thing must have been eight inches...

He reaches over to grab something again, but I don't notice anything until something cold and wet is pressed against my hole. I yelp quietly. He smiles and keeps rubbing his fingers against my pucker, eventually slipping one inside. I tip my head back and moan as he thrusts it slowly.

He adds another, starting to scissor them. I don't pay particular attention, I'm already in absolute bliss. This was better than I could have hoped for from him. I can already feel a knot in my stomach, and he hasn't even gotten that massive thing inside me. Just thinking about it...

"I- O-OH, MICK~" He adds a third and fourth finger simultaneously, pumping them quicker. I squirm and moan a bit more before releasing, moaning his name. It gets all over the sheets, but he doesn't seem to mind.

"That's one~" He removes his fingers, then lubes himself up. I tug at the belt again as he lines up with my entrance.

"Beg for it." I squirm slightly.

"Please, Mick."

"Please what?"

I can't hold back anymore.

"Mon dieu, Mick! Please, just pound into my ass! Use me up to 'our heart's content, I want to be 'our plaything! Rip me to shreds with 'our gigantic cock and make me scream 'our name through tears of pain!" He chuckles and slides in slowly. I arch my back and moan.

"Just say when." I sit there for a few moments, then nod as I get used to the size. He nods back and starts thrusting slowly.

I moan softly. He starts to speed up, making me moan louder. Soon enough, he's ramming into me and I can't hold back my moans of pleasure. If I was any stronger, I would have torn out of this belt by now. Then, he hits a particular spot that makes my whole body convulse.

"LÀ! JUSTE LÀ, MON DIEU! BAISE-MOI TELLEMENT DUR QUE JE NE POURRAI PAS MARCHER!" He didn't fully understand, but he got the message. He kept slamming into my prostate, making me scream with pleasure. It doesn't take long for the knot to form again.

"MICK, PLUS FORT! REMPLISSEZ-MOI AVEC VOTRE SEMENCE!" I arch my back and moan loudly as I cum again, covering the both of us with the sticky substance. He groans and buries himself into the hilt, cumming deep inside me. I pant and collapse against the bed. He pulls out and lays down next to me.

"Détache-moi, s'il te plaît." He understands well enough, untying the belt. I bring my hands to my chest, rubbing at the red marks left there.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you, mate." I chuckle and turn to face him.

"It's fine. I don't care, I won't have to explain zis. Plus, anozer memento of probably ze only time I'm going to fuck while on zis team." His face softens, then he smiles and cuddles me to his chest again.

"Oh no, this isn't a one-time deal. Once a week, and we're spending ceasefire days together, too. No arguments, no questions asked." I blush, and am grateful for the fact that he can't see it.

"Merci, Sniper."

"Now, no more of that business, either. You call me Mick from now on, got it?" I nod.

"We still have to pretend to hate each ozer in battle, though." I feel him chuckle silently.

"Not gonna stop me." He cozies up on the bed, pulls the covers over us, and turns off the bedside lamp.

"Oh, and you aren't leaving after we finish up. I like to cuddle after I shag." I chuckle quietly and shrug.

"Not like I could escape 'our arms anyways, Mick." He kisses my forehead.

"G'night, Victor."

"Good night, Bushman."


	11. Medic x (sick!)Reader

Your P.O.V.

I walked over to Pyro, a fresh idea in my head to keep them entertained.

"Hey, Pyro! You like candy, right?" They nod happily.

"Do you wanna learn how to make a really cool candy?" They nod furiously. I grab their hand and lead them to the kitchen.

"Okay, I'm gonna close the door, and then you can take your mask off, bud." They nod, and I close the door. They strip their mask off and smile hugely.

"What are we making?" I giggle.

"Candy apples." I pull out the apples, craft sticks, candy thermometer, and the sugar I bought earlier. Then I pull out a pot and stick the thermometer on it.

"You ready bud?" They nod.

"Let's do it! This'll be tasty!"

 

After an hour or so, we had created perfect candy apples. Perfectly red, and Pyro added some white sprinkles left over from Christmas sweets on top to give it a fun look.

"Good job, bud! Let's hand these out." They giggle and pull back on their mask. I grab the tray, and they open the door. Everyone's gathered in the living room playing cards or watching the players.

"Hey, guys! We made candy apples!" Everybody looks up and smiles.

"Aww, perfect! Thanks, mate!" Demo is the first to take one. I set the tray down in the middle of the table, and everybody grabs one except Medic.

"Hey Doc, don't you want an apple?" He shakes his head.

"Nein, danke. It could have Listeria in it. I don't particularly want to deal with zhat right now." I shrug and take one, eating with delight.

"These turned out really good, Pyro! I can't wait for you to try one." They nod and give me a thumbs up.

Soon, everyone has eaten their apple. I take the two spares back to the kitchen for Pyro to enjoy, then join in on the onlookers. It's always a treat to watch Heavy, Demo, Spy, Sniper, and Soldier play poker.

 

*Later~*

 

Your P.O.V.

 

I stretch after a good, hard-fought battle. We lost today, but nobody cares. Winning is always fun, but losing has its perks as well. Suddenly, I get a funny feeling.

"Hey (Y/N), you okay? You look like you might throw up..." Sniper pats me on the shoulder. I hold my stomach.

"I just might..." Then, the feeling surges up. I put a hand to my mouth and run, trying desperately to get to the toilet before time runs out. I luckily get there in time and empty my stomach with no problems.

Somebody comes in and holds my hair back. (If you have short hair, somebody comes in and pats you on the back.)

"I told jou. Listeria. Luckily, it only lasts two to five days, but jou still need to be quarantined and taken care of." I groan.

"Could you tell me this later? I'm kinda busy..." I duck for the bowl again, and he chuckles.

"After you're done, jou'll need to come to zhe Med Bay. I need to take care of jou." I nod, and he stays there, (holding my hair/comforting me, one or the other)

Once I'm done, I shakily get up.

"Ow, I think I pulled a muscle..." He pats my head.

"Nein, muscle pain is part of zhe many symptoms. Now come along." He takes my hand and guides me to the Med Bay, where he sits me down on the examination table. I swing my legs over the edge, not really paying attention to anything.

"Okay, say 'aah'." I open my mouth and hum. Something sweet is placed on my tongue. I send him a questioning look and close my mouth. It's a lollipop...?

"What, jou don't like grape?" I giggle and suck on it a bit before replying.

"I'm fine with grape, I just was expecting a tongue depressor, not a lollipop." He chuckles.

"Well, I don't need to check jour throat, I need to check jour temperature." He takes off his gloves and puts a hand to my head. I heat up a bit, and it has nothing to do with the fever I have.

"Do jou feel quite alright? A bit overheated and nauseous, if all?" I nod and smile. He removes his hand from my face, then grabs a stethoscope.

"Okay, zhis will be cold." He puts his hand up my shirt and presses the stethoscope to my chest. I blush madly and my heart beats much quicker.

"Are jou sure jou're okay, (Y/N)?" He smirks. I try to glare at him, but I clearly have no effect.

"You know I'm not okay." He chuckles.

"Take deep breaths." I do what he says. While I'm doing so, I don't notice his hand creep a bit lower. I do notice when he squeezes me, though. I squeak and smack him. He laughs and moves his hand back up.

"Sorry, couldn't resist, Liebste." He kisses my forehead and removes his hand altogether. I smile coyly and kiss his cheek. He hisses.

"G e r m s..." I laugh and swing my legs again.

"Jou know I don't like zhem! How dare jou." I stick my tongue out at him. He grabs my chest again. I flush and put my hands up in surrender.

"You win, babe." He chuckles.

"Oh, I know." He slips a cold mask onto my face, then kisses the mask where my lips would be. I giggle and press the mask to his cheek. He smiles.

"Come on now, I'll make jou some tea while jou rest here. Zhe patient beds are over zhere." He points to where the beds are, and I go over to one. He leaves, and I cosy up on the bed. Best. Sick day. Ever.


	12. Scout X Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is kinda short, but that's okay, right?

Your P.O.V.

I was scrolling through the iFunny featured one fateful day, when Scout wandered up.

"Whatcha looking at, toots?" I show him the meme that I was currently looking at. He chuckles.

"Oh yeah, memes. Hey, you wanna go for a run? I'll get you some Taco Bell afterwards if you win." I smile.

"Sure thing, Scoot." I turn off my phone and get up, stretching a bit before going outside with him.

"On your mark..." I stretch a bit more.

"Get set..." I get into a good starting position.

"GO, GO, GO!" We both take off running. I'm a bit slower, but he tires out quickly. Then I put my back into it and reach the goal first.

"Hah! I won!" He groans.

"Okay, okay, let's go." I grab him and start walking to the bread van.

"No, no, no, wait, not that." I let him go and give him a curious look. He puffs out his chest, looking mighty proud of himself.

"I souped up a bike with Engie. Goes over a hundred on the freeways." My eyes widen.

"Really? That's so cool!" He nods and smirks.

"Unless you're chicken, we could take it for a spin." I nod excitedly.

"Let's go!" He leads me over to a tarp. He whips it off the bike. It was absolutely beautiful; cherry red with white accents, nice thick tires, and sturdy handlebars.

"Woah...she's beautiful." Scout mumbles something.

"What did you say?" He blushes and smiles.

"Nothing. Now c'mon, let's go!" He hops on, and I get behind him. I wrap my arms around his waist, and we speed off.

*after the ride*

"Woah, how much power did you put into that thing? It was really fast!" He chuckles.

"I honestly don't know. I just asked Engie to give it as much speed as he could while I worked on the body. He clearly did a fucking fantastic job. I'll have to thank him." I smile.

"It's good that you're thanking people. You're usually so cocky and don't thank anyone." He nods.

"Medic says I need manners. So, I've been working on it." We walk into the Taco Bell.

"Hello, can I take your order?" I smirk.

"Yes, I'll have two number nines, a number nine large, a number six with extra dip, a number seven, two number forty-fives, one with cheese, and a large soda." The cashier starts laughing loudly.

"So you want two crunchwrap combos, one chalupa combo, and one steak quesadilla combo?" I nod.

"Don't forget the large soda." I turn to Scout, and he's giving me the dirtiest look. I laugh.

"What'll be the drinks for those combos?" I giggle.

"Diabetes in a cup, for all of them." The cashier laughs more.

"So four Skittles freezes, and a large soda." I nod. They pull out a large cup and lay it on the counter.

"Is that all?" I turn to Scout.

"You want anything? All the stuff I just ordered is mine." He rolls his eyes.

"Five dollar craving box, a loaded potato griller, and a can of Bonk!, please." They smile.

"What flavour?"

"Blue." The cashier nods and rings it up.

"$30.56, please." Scout hands over his card.

"When I said I'd take you to Taco Bell, I didn't expect you to load up for the next week and a half." I laugh and pat him on the shoulder.

"Nah, for the next hour. I'm a bottomless pit." He laughs and takes back his card.

"It'll be ready in a few minutes. Name for the order?"

"Scoot." Scout glares at me.

"Scoot? Okay..." I go sit down in a booth. Scout joins me.

"So why did you really drag me out here? You're prone to showing off, but manners? That will never be you." He freezes up for a second, then chuckles.

"I, uh, wanted to impress you." I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Why?" He starts sweating.

"Just, you're one of my best friends, and you're cute- wAIT SHIT! I FUCKED UP!" He holds his head in his hands and groans while I laugh my ass off.

"So you like me? Like, like me like me?" He blushes madly and nods.

"Yeah. I, uh, didn't know how to tell you, so I thought it'd be best to do it alone so nobody laughed at me except you." I get kinda sad.

"Scout, I'm not laughing because you have feelings for me. I'm laughing because your reactions are funny. I'm not laughing at you, just what you do and say. Even though you're kind of an asshole, you're sweet, and you care a lot. I like you back." He grins.

"Really?!" I nod. He fist pumps.

"YESSSSSSSS!" I giggle and grab his hand, the one that isn't in the air.

"Hey, calm down. I wanna be wined and dined before I'm fucked." He chuckles.

"I got a bucket of chicken." I laugh, and the cashier from earlier comes up with our food.

"If you need drink carriers, just come up and ask." I nod and smile. They leave with a smile.

"So, you like to brag. How about you brag about me?" He chuckles and starts listing off the things he finds great about me. I smile and listen to him. After all, where else am I gonna find someone eager to please and goddamn adorable? I bet he has a mommy kink.


	13. (Red!)Engineer X (Red!)Reader(part two!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's music for this chapter, so if you wanna listen to it, here's the link. I'll say when. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCcXBSgwdVo&index=1&list=LLVo0ISoxFEgml009fscCakQ

Engie's P.O.V.

(Y/N) is so cool. She can do sick roasts, and always gets Scout off my back when he spams the ask for a dispenser. She's really nice, and she's so smart.

After battle one day, I catch up with her.

"Hey, Darlin'!" She turns and smiles at me.

"Yeah, Engie?" I look down shyly and shuffle my feet.

"Uhm, so, Ah looked at some of the equipment, and it seems like it might break down, which would result in a ceasefire week, so maybe you'd want to hang out with me during the ceasefire week?" She giggles.

"How are you so certain the equipment will be broken?" I smile up at her.

"Oh, it'll be broken. Trust me. So, yes?" She nods.

"Sure. Will we be going to town?" I hop on the balls of my feet excitedly.

"Yup! I bought some movie tickets." She raises an eyebrow at me.

"It almost seems like this breakdown is planned." I shrug.

"Maybe, maybe not." She pats my helmet.

"Okay, Engie. Next week, what day?"

"Tuesday. At four, so we can watch the movie and then grab a bite to eat after. It's a bit chilly outside, so you might wanna dress for that." She nods and smiles warmly.

"Okay, then. See you alone, at four, on Tuesday." I rub the back of my neck awkwardly.

"Well, actually, at two, so we can actually get to town in time for the movie. Is that okay?" She nods.

"That's fine. I have less time to get ready, but that's okay." I nod.

"Okay. See you then." She walks away. Once she's in the next room, I fist pump.

"YES! AH DID IT!" I dance a bit in celebration, then run to my workshop to continue working on the gift I made for her.

*Later~*

I packed my gift in a box and put it in the back of my truck before I went around to the front to pick up (Y/N).

She looked so pretty and warm.

She smiled as I approached. I stopped the truck and opened the door for her. She climbs in, then closes the door behind her.

"Is this okay? I'll probably change later, though." I nod.

"You look great, Darlin'. Now, off to town." I shift the tuck into gear and drive away from the base. I watch it get smaller in the rearview until we get onto the highway. Then I pay attention to the road. Crazy drivers...

*After the drive*

We pull up to the theatre. I park the truck, stopping it and getting out, racing over to (Y/N)'s side to open her door for her. She steps out and giggles.

"I can open my own door."

"What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't open my gal's door for her?" She smiles and a hint of a blush decorates her cheeks.

"Thank you." We walk inside together. I hand the tickets to the teenager manning the authentication stand.

"enjoy your fiilm." I smile and tip my hat to him.

"Much obliged. What's got ya down, boy?" He, uh, she? Oh whatever, they sigh.

"ii don't thiink ii 2hould 2piill my 2ecret2 two a random 2tranger, 2iir." I nod.

"Ah understand. Just tryna be friendly and help one of our future leaders out." I start walking to the room our film is being played in.

"...future leader?" I stop, turn around, and chuckle.

"Yup. You look like a sure candidate for the Presidency, Ah bet. The next generation is the future, after all. We all die someday. Ah'm just doing what Ah can to help all y'all along." They smile.

"thank you." I nod and tip my hat again, then turn back around and continue making my way to the theatre. (Y/N) grabs my hand and walks with me.

"That was epic, what you did for that kid."

"Hey. Don't call them a kid. They're mighty important. That one just might get the human race to Jupiter or something in the future. Based on how depressed they were, or maybe they were just in a mood, but they probably have a darn high IQ. Technology changes all the time. Ah mean, look at all the victims of school shootings standing up for themselves because the government will do nothing but keep taking gun money and making the country less safe. Ah'm personally against that business, and probably one of the only ones that actually take action against it. The majority of people who are against it don't act against it, which gives the NRA the lead in political matters. And Ah should probably stop rambling, shouldn't Ah?" She nods and chuckles.

"I don't think I've seen you more passionate about anything else other than science, Engie." I shrug.

"It's a practical problem. That's what I like." She laughs. Then I notice we totally missed our theatre.

"Darn!" I speed walk to the right one and go in.

"A horror movie?" I grin.

"What, you chicken?" She shakes her head.

"No, no, just not what I was expecting for a first date." She follows me to our seats. I put the arm in between us up. She sends me a questioning look.

"Just in case you get scared." She laughs. Oh lord, I love her laugh.

Now, this works out just fine. If she's scared, she cuddles up to me, and if I'm scared, because of my stature, the first place my face goes is her chest. It's a win-win.

The movie started after a few minutes. It was called Truth or Dare, so I didn't think it would be that bad.

*exactly twenty-three minutes later*

Oh, it's so bad. I'm resisting the urge to flee into her arms. But somehow, (Y/N) seems completely fine. A particularly nasty scare happens, and I yelp and keen to my desires, which are slamming my face into her chest and distracting myself from the movie. I hug her tightly, and she puts an arm around me.

"What, you chicken?" I nod. She giggles quietly and holds onto me for the rest of the movie.

*after the movie*

I moseyed on out of the theatre with (Y/N). She was silently dying of laughter. The teen from earlier came up to us with a soft smile.

"how wa2 the moviie?" I shrugged.

"It was alright, Ah guess. Didn't really pay attention."

"He was too scared." I hit her arm lightly. She laughs.

"well, have a niice day, 2iir. ii hope thii2 goe2 well." I tip my hat to them and leave with (Y/N).

"So, where are we going for dinner?"

"Well, I know a diner around here that's real cosy. There's also a nice ice cream parlour, if you wanna go for dessert after dinner." She nods and smiles.

"Sounds good." I open her door for her, and she gets in. I race around to the other side, get in, buckle up, and start the car. She buckles up, and I pull out of my spot and start driving to the diner.

*A few minutes later*

A guy comes up to our table.

"Hey, my name is Chad. I'll be taking care of you today." I made a fist under the table. This guy was a total douchebag.

"Anything to drink for you, honey?" He winked at me. Oh, a douchebag that's into me. At least he isn't pulling the moves on my girl, otherwise, he'd be dead. Time to crush his hopes and dreams.

"Ah'll have some Blu Streak. What do you want, honeybee?" I take her hand and hold it on the table.

"I'll just have a Coke, thanks." He nods and sends me a smile. Then he walks away, swaying his hips slightly.

"Is he seriously trying to flirt with you?" I chuckle and smile at (Y/N).

"Don't worry, Ah don't like douchebags. And even if Ah did, Ah've only got eyes for you right now, Darlin'." She blushes and smiles. Chad comes back with a bottle of Blu Streak, but no Coke.

"Hey, where's the Coke?" He sets down the bottle and gives me a confused look.

"Huh? What Coke? You didn't order one."

"She ordered the Coke." I point at (Y/N). He turns and looks at her, then back to me.

"There's nobody there, though." I growl.

"Chad, I am not into you. Now get her her Coke, or Ah'm gonna have to speak to your manager." He quickly walks away. I chuckle.

"That's what you get." I tip my hat in his direction.

"Engie, you didn't have to do that." I shrug.

"Ah wanted him off my back. Besides, Ah'm probably gonna complain to the manager anyway. He's gonna do something to your food, Ah'm sure of it." She smiles.

"Speaking of, let's look at the menu." I already know what I'm getting. She looks through, humming quietly. Chad comes back and puts a glass of brown soda on the table.

"Is Pepsi okay?" She nods. He walks off again. She takes a sip of her drink and recoils in shock.

"What's wrong?" She starts giggling.

"It's rootbeer. I mean, I don't mind, but it's really funny." I cross my arms.

"Ah'm definitely speaking to the manager." She shakes her head.

"After, okay? Let douchebags douche and watch them be crushed after they're bathed in the afterglow." I nod and chuckle.

"That's what they get." Chad comes back up.

"Okay, what are you two having?" I grin.

"Ah'll have my usual. Just tell the cook that it's Dell askin'." He nods.

"And what's the thot having?" (Y/N) heats up with anger.

"Your head on a platter, たわごとの顔!" (Pronounced 'tawagoto no kao', means shitface in Japanese.)

I grab her hand again and rub circles on the back of her hand.

"What're you havin', sweet pea?" She sighs.

"The Alfredo." I nod.

"My wife here will have the alfredo." He nods and goes back into the kitchen. I look at (Y/N) to find she's blushing madly.

"W-Wife?" I shrug.

"One thing that's sure to drive a gay douchebag away who's into you is mention of a wife. Not that, uh, all gays are douchebags, just this one in particular is. Ah like the Medic, after all! He's really cool, and Ah don't mind that he's seeing the Heavy, not one bit." She rolls her eyes.

"I know that all gays aren't douchebags. And I know you're fine with the Medic. You're trying way too hard to be progressive, aren't you?" I groan.

"i just want you to like me..." She quirks an eyebrow at me.

"What did you say?"

"N-NUTHIN'! Ah didn't say anythin', Darlin'." I smile at her. Chad comes up with two plates.

"Here you go. By the way, Dell is a nice name." He sets mine down in front of me, then sets hers down.

"Also, did you know that half of marriages end in divorce. Just thought I should mention that." He walks away with a bit of anger in his step. I look at her plate.

"Okay, what'd he do to it?" I pull it over to me and take a taste.

"Strange aftertaste...He was trying to drug you!" I get up and walk over to the hostess.

"Oh, hiya Dell!" I smile.

"Hey. You have a waiter named Chad, right?" She nods.

"He tried to drug my date." Her jaw drops.

"WHAT?! Oh my god, I'm so sorry Dell!" She turns and runs into the kitchen, yelling something at Chad most likely. I sit back down with (Y/N).

"You'll get a proper plate soon." She nods.

"Thank you, eh, Dell." I nod.

"It's no problem, honeybee." She smiles.

"Dell is a nice name." I smile back.

"Why, thank you kindly." The hostess comes back with another plate of alfredo.

"I'm so sorry, ma'am! Here's another plate. Has Chad done anything else?" I nod.

"He flirted with me, and he brought my drink but didn't bring hers, and when he came back he didn't bring what she asked for." She nods.

"Okay, all this is on the house. He's done this a lot. He's getting fired. Thank you for helping, he was getting on all our nerves." I nod and chuckle.

"Of course, Bea." She smiles and walks away quickly with the drugged plate. Then we start eating.

*afterwards*

"Thank you again, Bea!" She smiles.

"Oh, it's no problem!" We walk out.

"Okay, the ice cream parlour is just over there. We can walk to it." She nods and skips beside me happily. I chuckle and lead her over to Codn't Find Better Offishial Ice Cream.

Once we get inside, I walk up to the counter and give the young girl there a smile.

"Hey, Sibeta!" She perks up and smiles.

")(ello! W)(at can I get you today, Dell? A c)(ocolate cone, per usual?" I nod, then turn to look at (Y/N).

"Hey Darlin', what'll you have?" She considers this for a second.

"Can I have vanilla?" Sib nods.

"Coming rig)(t up! W)(at's your name, koi one?" (Y/N) giggles.

"(Y/N). So you're big on fish puns?" Sib grins.

"I LOV---E FIS)( PUNS! T)(ey're so clever and )(ard to recognize most of t)(e time." (Y/N) nods and giggles.

Sib gives us our ice cream and giggles.

"T)(at'll be four sand dollars, please!" I hand Sib my card. She swipes it quickly and smiles, handing it back to me.

"Please come again!" I nod, and (Y/N) and I leave.

"She's nice. How do you know everybody in town so well?" I shrug.

"Ah guess Ah come here too often..." I start eating as we walk back to my truck.

"The small town vibe suits you." I tip my hat to her.

"Thank you kindly." We get to the truck, then I get an idea. I have some blankets in the back, so this'll work out nicely.

"Hey (Y/N), wanna go stargazing?" She smiles and nods excitedly. I laugh.

"Okay, finish up and we'll go get snacks." She eats up quickly, then cleans off her face and hops in the passenger's side of my truck, bouncing excitedly. I get in with her and drive off to a dollar store.

*a few hours later...*

I was setting out the blankets on the bed of my truck while (Y/N) looked for calming music on her phone.

"Okay, the bed is ready." I grab the snacks from the back and set them on the bed. Luckily, we grabbed a good spot before the crowds of young lovers got here. We could see the whole sky for miles. It was amazing.

"Hey, Dell! Look! The sun is finishing setting!" I look over at the remnants of the sunset. It really is pretty. She climbs up onto the bed of my truck and shows me the song she chose.

"Is this good?" I nod. I always found that type of music relaxing. I lay down next to her, being careful not to lay on her gift, which I hid under the blankets.

After a few minutes, the stars finally come out, and (Y/N) starts the music.

 

(turn on the music now. tbh this shit is amazing to fall asleep to.)

 

I look over the Milky Way and smile. It's just like back home, only a bit duller because of the light pollution.

I look over at (Y/N) and see her smile, and the stars in her eyes. I would pay anything to look at those eyes just as they are now until the end of my days, and her smile was so bright it would outshine any star.

Now's the time.

"Hey, (Y/N)..." She turns over to look at me.

"Yeah?" I blush, and hope that the darkness hides it.

"Ah, uhm...Ah like you. As, y'know, more than friends. Ah've felt this way for a long time, and Ah just wanna know if you feel the same." She grins.

"I feel the same." I grin back.

"Oh thank god!" She giggles. I look back up at the stars. Then they're blocked out by something that's just as beautiful. I blush a bit harder.

"Hi there." She smiles.

"Hi there, yourself." She leans in, and...

 

 

 

 

(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA CLIFFHANGER!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(nah fam, I ain't that brutal. just changing the P.O.V., it's cool homie.)

Your P.O.V.

"Hi there." I smile at him.

"Hi there, yourself." I lean in, and our lips meet in a sweet embrace. It was quick, but the emotion was there. He pulls me back down, and we kiss again. It's much longer this time, and there's a hint of desperation in there. I pull back from the kiss and smile.

"So are we a thing now?" He blushes harder at my question. He's so cute when he's flustered.

"Ah guess so..." I roll off him and cuddle up to him. He wraps an arm around me, and we continue looking at the stars in the sky.


	14. (Jealous!)Spy X Reader

Your P.O.V.

Today was the day we could go into town for things other than food and drink. For most of the team, this meant going to the strip club and participating in more illegal activities.

For me, it meant going to a bar, since there are no male prostitutes in town. I strolled into the seedy bar, signalling to the barkeep.

"Hey, (Y/N). The usual?" I nod. He slides me a bottle of Blu Streak and I chug it. The door swings open again, and somebody sits down next to me.

"I did not expect to find you here, ange doux." I turn to look at the offender. It's Spy.

"Didn't expect to find you here either, Spy." Spy signals to the barkeep and he gets a mug of beer with a shot.

"Woah, you drink beer?" He shrugs.

"It's good when 'ou want to get drunk quick. 'Ou are probably wondering why I am here, correct?" I nod. He pours the shot into the beer and starts chugging it. He slams it down once he's done, and sighs deeply.

"Ma petite chou-fleur...She left me." I gasp quietly.

"But she was completely enamoured by you. Why did she leave?" He shrugs.

"I guess she didn't like the fact that I kept killing our son." He cringes immediately. I pat his shoulder.

"I didn't know. I'm sorry. Who is it?" He groans.

"Ze Scout on ze ozer team. I had stopped once I found out who he was, but she still left me. I even left health and ammo packs for him when we both needed zem." I sigh.

"Women will be women." He nods and signals to the barkeep again, who refills his mug.

"Hey there, gorgeous. You come here often?" I turn to look at the drunkard who initiated contact with me.

"Once every two months. It's what my job allows." He chuckles.

"So I can see you around more often?" He puts a hand on my knee. I smile.

"Well depending on how you play this, you may just see more of me than you are now." He chuckles.

"What're you drinking?"

"Blu Streak." He signals to the barkeep.

"Two bottles of Blu Streak." Barkeep slides them over, and the drunk hands one to me.

"Thanks." He nods and takes a sip of his own.

"So how many Blu Streaks is it gonna take to get you to my house, sweet cheeks?" A hand is placed on my shoulder.

"'Our money is wasted on her. Go flirt with some other girl, 'ou fifty-year-old man." The drunk laughs.

"What, you her boyfriend or something, frog?" Spy's grip on my shoulder tightens.

"Oui, and 'ou would be better off leaving her alone. I am a dangerous man." The guy balls his hands into fists. I look away and blush.

"Oh, you are, are you? Put up your dukes, then! Let's see how dangerous you really are!" I hear Spy pull his balisong out.

"Fine. Let's settle this like gentlemen." He takes his hand off me and stands in front of the offending drunk. I put my hand out and grab Spy's.

"You don't have to do this." He sent a soft glare my way.

"Yes, I do." I let go of him. The drunk chugs his beer, then stands up.

"So the frog feels like hopping! Go ahead, take your best shot at me." Spy shook his head.

"I'd prefer if 'ou took 'our shot first. It might give 'ou a fighting chance." Drunk guy laughed. A crowd started to gather.

"A fighting chance, eh? Well, if you insist..." Drunk guy took a swing at Spy. He missed completely, of course. Spy sidestepped, and while the drunk was stumbling forward and trying to catch himself, he stabbed him in the back. Drunk guy fell to the floor, dead. Everybody looked at Spy in shock.

"It does not count as murder. It was in self-defence. Plus, there is nobody here who can prove otherwise." He glared at the crowd, which all returned to their respective seats, muttering about not seeing anything. Spy sits back down and signals to the barkeep.

Once he gets his drink, I cuff him over the head. He rubs where I hit him and grumbles.

"あなたはばかな馬鹿! There'll be police crawling all over this place in the next few minutes now!" (pronounced 'anata wa bakana baka', meaning 'you fucking idiot'.) He chugs his drink again, then stands up and straightens his tie.

"Zen 'ou better finish quickly. We'll have to leave." He exits the building. I chug my beer and race after him. When I get outside, he's already gone. I sigh and head to Engie's truck. What possessed him to defend me from that guy?

*later*

I was wandering around the base, not particularly paying attention to anything, when I bumped into Demo.

"Oh! Hey, lass! How are ye?" I smile.

"I'm doing well, how are you?" We talked for a bit, up until Spy came up to us.

"What are 'ou doing, talking to her?" Demo rolled his eyes.

"I can talk to who I want to, can't I?" Spy glared at Demo.

"No. Get away from her." Demo chuckles.

"Oh, and what are ye gonna do if I don't? Run away like the wee frog ye are?" Spy growls.

"The only reason 'ou are so deadly is because 'ou are drunk. If 'ou were sober, 'ou would actually be supporting 'our mother instead of running away." Demo growls back.

"Ye'll want ta choose yer next words wisely, boyo..." Demo puts a hand on Eyelander, the sword he always has with him. Spy pulls out his balisong. I cross my arms.

"SPY." He looks at me.

"Oui?"

"He can talk to whoever he wants to, and I can talk to whoever I want to. Why don't you want people to talk to me?" He growls and turns around, stalking away.

"He's tried ta get people away from ye before?" I nod.

"During the furlough, I went to a bar to get my piece. Spy came with for some reason. Then he killed a guy for flirting with me." Demo's jaw dropped slightly.

"I wonder why..." I shrugged at his question. He shrugged too and we went back to talking about what we were talking about earlier.

These types of episodes went on for several weeks. I would talk to somebody and Spy would loom like a dark cloud over the conversation, making everybody uncomfortable. But he would never talk to me himself.

One day, I decided I've had enough. I talked to his least favourite person; the Scout.

"Hey, Scout. What's up?" He smirks.

"Not much, how about you?" I shrug.

"Same here." He nods.

"Hey, you know what's going on with Spy? I barely saw him around in battles in the first place, but I don't see him at all now!" I shrug.

"I was gonna ask if you knew if anything was going on with Sniper. People always seem to die before they reach me..." Scout shrugged.

"You seen a (team colour) dot around when they died?" I shake my head.

"This is really weird..." Scout shrugs.

"But in the meanwhile...I got a bucket of chi-" Scout's hit in the head with something.

"Shut up, baise d'âne pubescent." Scout turns around, clutching his head where he was hit.

"You shut up, you French fag!" I cuff Scout. Hard.

"What the hell?!"

"That word will not be tolerated in my presence, contributor to the Crit-A-Cancer." Scout rolls his eyes and leaves. Spy starts to leave too, but I speed up to him and grab his arm.

"Spy, what's going on with you?" He tries to get out of my grip, but I'm considerably stronger than him. He groans.

"Let go of me, and I'll tell you." I let go of him, knowing he'll tell me and run.

"Je t'aime, et je ne veux pas que quelqu'un d'autre t'ait." Then he runs away. I sigh and go to find Medic. I can't understand French, but Medic and Spy talk a lot, so maybe he knows what Spy said.

*later*

"Okay, what did jou say he said again?" I roll my eyes.

"I've told you three times, Doc. Je t'aime et je ne veux pas que quelqu'un d'autre t'ait. Now, what does it mean?" Medic sighs.

"Well, I know zhat je t'aime means I love you, but I do not know what zhe rest means." I nod. So that explains the jealousy...

"Do you know where he might be right now?" The door opens just then. We both turn to look at it.

"Docteur, I need to-" He looks at me, and his eyes widen.

"I-I'll come back later." He tries to leave, but I grab him again and drag him inside the infirmary.

"Oh, merde..." I turn him around to face me, then cross my arms.

"I know what you said." He gasps quietly.

"As long as you stop acting the way you do now, I'll consider it." He smiles.

"Consider. Okay?" He nods furiously.

"Thank you!" I nod.

"No problem." He races out. I sigh and shake my head goodnaturedly.

"Well, at least he's a gentleman..."


	15. Soldier X Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING; !TERRIBLE LEMON AHEAD!

Your P.O.V.

I was lazing about the base, waiting until they got back. I don't fight on the battlefield, but I'm no maid, either. I watch over the mercs, and tag along on some of Ms Pauling's missions.

Once they walked back in, I perked up. Soldier came over and sat next to me on the couch.

"Hi, honey." He kissed my cheek. I smile at him.

"Hi, Soldier." I kiss his forehead.

"So, uh...What did you do today?" I giggle at his question.

"Just lazed about the house. Played with the kitties. Nothing too big." He smiles.

"That's good. You already know what I did today." I giggle and flick one of the straps on his helmet.

"So what do you want to do now?" He grins.

"I have a few ideas..." He gets up, then picks me up. I yelp and grab onto his shirt to keep me from falling. He chuckles and carries me upstairs.

"W-What were you thinking of, hon?" He opens the door to my room then sets me down on the bed.

"Oh, I think you know what I have in mind..." He goes and closes the door. I blush madly.

"S-Soldier, I-I-I-" He cuts me off by kissing me. I kiss back, wrapping my arms around his neck. He pulls back and smiles softly. I take off his helmet.

He smiles and pushes me down onto the bed gently. I look up at him and blush again. He leans in and starts trailing kisses down my neck. I moan quietly until he kisses my sweet spot.

I gasp and bite my lip. He starts sucking on that spot. I moan and squirm slightly. He chuckles and puts his hands up my shirt, exploring my torso. I look away from him and blush. He smiles and pulls my shirt off.

I squeak and cover my chest. He pulls my arms up and takes off his bandolier, tying my hands to the headboard with it, then taking off the grenades. He then undoes my bra and pulls it over my head and starts massaging my breasts.

I moan and squirm under his touch. He chuckles and stops, getting off of the bed. He takes off his jacket, leaving him in that tight undershirt that defines his muscles all too well. I rake my eyes over his body, absolutely enamoured.

He gets back onto the bed and starts undoing my pants. I cross my legs, but he doesn't stop, eventually getting them all the way off. I blush madly and whimper. He chuckles.

"What, am I more man than you can handle?~" He starts rubbing me through my panties. I tip my head back and moan. He chuckles and starts rubbing faster.

"You're so wet for me, aren't you..." I squeak in embarrassment and try to cross my legs again. He forces them open with his strong hands, then sits himself in between them. I blush and squirm. He rubs my inner thighs, making me moan.

"Just one second, sweetheart." He gets up again and takes off his undershirt, lending me the sight of his amazing musculature. I bite my lip as he starts working on his pants. He gets them and his boots off, then gets back in between my legs.

"You ready, sweetheart?" I nod. He takes off my panties, leaving me completely exposed. I blush madly and shiver. Well, now he knows I wax...

He takes off his boxers with a small hiss as his member pops out. I moan at the sight of it.

"It's so big..." I moan. He grins and positions himself.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. You'll be fine." He starts sliding in. I arch my back and lift my hips, moaning loudly.

Once he's fully inside, he waits for me to tell him to start moving. After a few minutes, I get used to him inside me and nod. He goes at a slow and steady pace to start out. I moan softly at the feeling, focusing on him and only him. Then he hits a spot that makes me arch my back and moan loudly.

He grins and starts pounding into that spot. I tug on his bandolier and moan his name, begging him to go faster. He holds onto my hips and starts thrusting with reckless abandon. I writhe in pleasure and keep on moaning, getting needier with each one.

Eventually, my knot tightens enough.

"S-SOLLY! I'M GONNA-" I arch my back and moan louder than I have before as I cum all over his shaft. He groans and pulls out, cumming all over my stomach. I settle back down on the bed and pant lightly. He cleans off my stomach, removes the bandolier, and lays down next to me. I pull the covers over us.

"Goodnight, cupcake."

"Goodnight, Solly." I nuzzle into his chest, and he pulls the covers over us. We fall asleep at the same time.

 

 

Scout's P.O.V.

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe I caught it on camera.

I race down to show the guys. Some of them recoil at the footage, others watch just to see what happened. Spy asks to borrow it for later, though. He's gross.

I know Soldier's gonna kill me, and I'm fine with that. This was worth it.


	16. Sniper X Reader

Your P.O.V.

My friend/coworker and I were texting each other on the phone after I had fallen out of bed.

(Y/N); hey wassup.

(Friend); Nothing. still being glued to the bed by Heavy...the cat.

(Y/N); aww. well, be glad that it's the cat and not the real thing. you'd be ded

(F); Very dead.

I giggle and check the time. Oh. Oh, he's dead.

(Y/N); yup. speaking of, so is Sniper if his ass isn't here in the next five seconds. he fUCKING SAID THAT HE'D SEE ME AFTER BATTLE

Which was true. This morning, after breakfast, he said he'd see me as soon as he was back here. I knew the battle was long over by now, so he was late. I don't particularly like a late man.

(F); I can hear someone downstairs. I think it might be Sniper. I dunno

(Y/N); okies. bai bai, off to kill a koala!

I turn off my phone and get up, dusting myself off a bit and fixing my hair and outfit before walking outside my room. I find Sniper in the hallway, looking around for something. I walk up to him.

"You okay?" He jumped at the sound of my voice, then turned and smiled down at me.

"Oh, hey cutie. How was your day?~" He grinned. I felt myself getting wet already at his husky voice, but I had to stay strong. I grabbed his collar and dragged him down to my height.

"You're fucking late." I hissed, seething with anger. He seemed calm enough, though.

"Sorry, I accidentally cut myself with my kukri after battle. I had to put a bandage on it." He took my hand off his shirt. I cross my arms and look at him angrily.

"I could've done that for you. Cutting yourself is no excuse. Hell, you could've gotten Medic to give you a quick heal once you got off the field. Any other excuses?" He smiles and shakes his head.

"He was busy, my little koala." He kisses me. I blush, but I don't kiss back. He separates the kiss and smirks.

"Aww, come onnn~" I glared at him.

"NO! You were late! You could've at least told me you were going to be late earlier..." He pouts at me.

"I'm sorry..." I roll my eyes and sigh.

"It's fine...I guess..." He cheers up immediately. Of course, he was faking it. What does it matter, he's here now.

"So whaddya wanna do?" I shrug at his question.

"I dunno, what do you wanna do?" He boops my nose lightly.

"Maybe watch a movie?" I consider this for a moment, then nod and smile softly.

"Sounds like fun." We walk over to his room. He closes the door while I look around. I've never really been in here. It was cosy and mostly wooden, and he had a queen sized bed covered in a handmade quilt. I smiled softly.

'Cute...' I thought. He hugged me from behind.

"So where do you wanna sit?" I giggle and turn to face him.

"Your bed looks comfy~" He blushes deeply and lets go of me, going over to the bed and sitting on it. He then pats the spot next to him and turns on the TV. I sit next to him.

"So whaddya wanna watch, love?" I shrug.

"I dunno, what do you wanna watch?" He shrugs and kisses my forehead.

"Anything you're willing to." I smirk at him.

"Then how about 50 Shades?" He blushes so hard his cheeks go red.

"Been there, done that." I giggle quietly.

"But you haven't done it with me!" His blush worsens and he sighs.

"Fine..." He starts looking for it. I giggle and tug on his sleeve to get his attention.

"I was kidding, Snipes. put an action movie on or something. I don't like this stuff." He chuckles and his blush dies down. He switches the movie to Annihilation.

"(INSERT FRIEND NAME HERE) recommended this to me." I chuckle nervously.

"oh no...I can fit under your shirt, right? I'll probably be hiding under there for most of the movie." He blushes lightly and nods. I grin.

"Thank you." He stretches, then leans against the wall to watch the movie.

*later*

After the first scare, I hide under his shirt. I knew he'd be skinny, but I didn't expect him to be jacked as fuck. Six pack, toned chest...I was trying not to drool.

"Scared already, huh?~" I nod and blush deeply, trying very hard to contain myself. Once he goes back to watching the movie, I start rubbing his abs shamelessly. After a few rubs, I start running my hands over his whole torso. He chuckles huskily.

"You like that, huh?~" I nod and pull him down, kissing him desperately. He kisses back, holding my hip with one hand. The other hand was taking residence upon my ass. When he squeezed me, I separated the kiss and moaned quietly. He smirks and chuckles.

"Want me to stop, love?" I shake my head. He grins.

"Good. Because I wasn't going to~" He purrs into my ear. He moves down and starts kissing my neck. I whimper in pleasure, rutting my hips against him needily.

He takes his hands off my body, choosing to unbutton his shirt instead. Once I'm free, I sit on his lap properly. He pauses the movie then gets his shirt off. Once he's done, my hands go right back on, memorizing every dip and hill, every muscle, every nook and cranny.

His hands slip up my shirt and rub my back, before slipping back out and coaxing me into a laying-down position. I smile up at him shyly. He grabs my shirt and starts pulling it off. I help him along a bit by putting my arms up. Once my shirt is off, he starts running his hands over me, memorizing every curve, every place that was a bit softer than the others, every place that made me shiver and bite my lip.

He pulls me into a sitting position again and kisses me. I kiss back, placing my hands on his shoulders. He undoes my bra, separates the kiss, pulls it off me, and throws it to a random place in the room. I blush and cover my chest, looking away from him. He smiles softly.

"Don't worry, love, there's nobody watching. You can trust me." I slowly uncover my chest.

He places his hands on my (big or small, depending on your cup size) breasts and starts kneading them. I moan and put my hands on his forearms to try and steady myself. He chuckles and kneads a bit more before taking his hands off my chest and slightly pushing me off.

"Pants off, love. I don't like having clothes on when I do it." I nod and get off him, starting to take off my pants. He gets up and takes off his pants and underwear rather quickly. I feel myself get wetter at the sight of his member. How long was it? Seven, eight inches? He was hard as a rock as well. He sits back down on the bed and smirks at me.

"Need some help there?~" I nod sheepishly and blush. He turns to face me, then snakes his hands down my body, stopping on my fly. He repositions himself so that he's hovering over me, and my face lights up like Smissmas. I breathe in deeply, getting some of his scent.

He smelled like sand and old books, with a dash of firewood and a hint of some stinging cologne. It's cosy, homey, and something I wouldn't mind waking up to and going to sleep to. While I'm analyzing his scent, I didn't notice that he got my pants and panties off. When I notice, I cross my legs and flush in embarrassment.

"Oh, come on shei-la~" He rubs my thigh. I eventually relent. Then he changes our positions. I'm sitting in his lap again, and he's sitting up. He leans against the wall and places his hands on my hips. I send him a questioning look. Then it clicks.

I blush madly and bite my lip, shifting so that I'm in a riding position. He starts pushing me down gently, slowly, coaxing me onto his member. I don't even notice I'm going down until his tip is inside. I blush harder and try to hide in his chest as he pushes me deeper. I whimper and he whispers sweet nothings to me until I'm seated at his hilt. He tilts my chin up to make me look at him.

"Are you okay with this?" I nod slowly. His hand goes back to my hip.

"Just say when, love." After a few minutes, I nod. He moves me slowly, getting me used to the feeling. I eventually start riding him on my own, albeit slowly. He helps me along the whole way. 

I start going faster, and he tips his head back and groans. I moan quietly and speed up, eliciting more sounds and reactions from him. Eventually, I hit a spot that tilts my vision. I arch my back and moan loudly, stopping for a moment. He grabs my hips and keeps me moving, making sure to hit that spot every time. I eventually can get back to bouncing up and down, moaning with every thrust. He grips my hips tightly.

"Watch out, love-!" He pulls me off him and onto his chest. He throws his head back and moans in ecstasy as he cums. I can feel some of it get onto my back. I blush and whimper, being so close to cumming myself.

He takes me off him and wipes himself off quickly, then flipping me onto my back. He puts his hands on my thighs and spreads me, moving downwards so he can eat me out. When he presses his mouth to my lips, I squeak. He looks up at me and grins.

"You ever had an Australian kiss?" I look at him curiously.

"What's an Australian kiss?" He chuckles.

"It's like a French kiss, but down under~" Then he starts lapping at my insides. I moan and grab his hair, tugging softly on it. I feel the knot in my stomach get even tighter, and I tighten my grip on his hair. He hums, and that pushes me to the edge.

"S-Sniper! I'm gonna-~" I moan loudly and arch my back as the knot releases. I pant heavily and lay back down. He chuckles.

"You taste lovely, (Y/N)." He lays down next to me and pulls me close to him. I nuzzle into his neck. He pulls the covers over us and we keep cuddling.

"Goodnight, Sniper." He kisses my forehead and brushes the hair out of my eyes.

"Goodnight, (Y/N)."


	17. Spy X Reader(short fic)

Your P.O.V.

Today was the big day! Well, the big day nobody knew about. It was my birthday, and only Spy knew. He was an asshole, however, so he would not celebrate it. I didn't care. All I needed today was a slice of cake, that's all.

I went downstairs to go to the kitchen, but there was a fight going on between Scout and Spy. I sighed and went to investigate.

"Alright, what's going on?" Scout glares at Spy then turns to me.

"He won't tell me who the box is for!" Spy rolls his eyes.

" 'Ou don't need to know, Scout." Scout growls at Spy.

"Yes, I do! What if it's a present for the other team? What if it's an explosive?"

"It's not an explosive, I wrapped ze box myself!" I rolled my eyes.

"Okay, Spy, who is the box for?" He hands the box in question to me. It's wrapped in (team colour) gift wrap and Australium-coloured ribbon.

"It's for 'ou." I send him a confused glance, then I realize.

"S-Spy, I...didn't expect you to remember." He smiles softly.

"And why is zat? Of course, I would remember such a day as zis." Everybody sends questioning looks towards us.

"What day is today?" Spy glares at Scout.

"None of your concern, boy!" He walks away. I sit down on the couch and carefully tug at the ribbon, undoing it easily. Everyone stares at me as I unwrap the box. I pull out my dagger and cut open the lid.

I look inside, and there's a pendant made of gold inside, along with a small box of French chocolates, a rose without its thorns, and a bottle of perfume. I blush madly and take out the note.

"Joyeux anniversaire, mon cher~" I shiver at the smooth voice in my ear and the faint smell of cigarette smoke. Then the smell leaves me, alerting me that he left again. I'm still a blushing mess, however.

"What the hell was that about?" I shake my head at Soldier and leave, taking the box and ribbon with me. This has got to be the best birthday ever. Not only do I get what's in the box, but I have a new lover, as well.


	18. (Red!)Engineer X (Red!)Reader (Part 3:FINALE)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lemon ahead.

**Your P.O.V.**

It's been a few weeks since we made our relationship official. Nobody really minded.

"Ae, I knew it was gonna happen eventually anyway," Demo said. I playfully smacked him. He chuckled and took another swig of his beer, a considerable downgrade from his Scrumpy.

"Sorry, lass. I'm a shipper at heart, and you two were at the top of the Matespirit list." I rolled my eyes.

"You, Pyro, Scout, and your shipping charts...Who's at the top of Matespirit now, by the way?" He smiles and shakes his head.

"Nothing that isn't already official."

"Alright, then what else is at the top?" His smile grows into a grin.

"At the top of Kismisis, Red Spy and Blu Sniper." I gasp.

"Really? Scandalous~" He starts explaining why they would be perfect in a hate-fuck relationship. By the time he's done, a few hours have passed. I look at my watch and panic.

"Oh shoot, I told Dell I'd be down in his lab at this time! Sorry, gotta go!" Demo nods.

"Godspeed, lass." I race off to the workshop, cursing the whole way. Once I get there, I burst through the door, panting from all the physical activity.

"Sorry, Dell, I...*huff* I didn't check the time, and..." I looked around the room. He was nowhere to be found.

I look around and find a note. I open it and read it.

}I knew you wouldn't be here on time, that's just one of the things I love about you. Now, since you're late, you gotta run around the house in a scavenger hunt. Regretting being late now, aren't you? You probably ran all the way here, didn't you? Well, I'll know if you don't run, and you won't get what I was planning if you don't run.{

I groan and stuff the note in my pocket. I gotta run everywhere?

"This better be worth it, Dell!" I run out and start the scavenger hunt.

*after an hour or two*

I collapse in front of Dell's door. That fucker had me run all the way around the base, then told me to come back down here.

"DELL, I SWEAR TO GOD, WHEN I OPEN THIS DOOR, IT BETTER BE A FUCKING GODSEND!" I slowly stand up and open the door. He's standing in the middle of the room, helmetless, goggles pushed up on his head, and topless. I blush.

"Uh, Dell, what...?" I shift uncomfortably.

"What? Can't Ah be comfortable?" He smiles at me. I sigh.

"Okay, what did you have me run all around the base for?" He walks up to me and holds out a gift box. I send him a questioning look but take it.

"What's this for?" I ask. He chuckles and rubs the back of his neck.

"Ah forgot to give it to you on our first date..." I blush harder and start opening it. When I opened it fully, there was nothing there. I looked back up to see him with his guitar. He strummed a few notes, and then he started singing to me.

 

"If I could hang a million stars up in the Texas sky,

None would shine as brightly as that twinkle in your eye.

Your face, so sweet and full of joy,

I'd do all I can

To give you what you deserve.

I am the luckiest man.

I can't tell you enough, my dear,

Though what I'm saying's true.

If I had to, I would walk to hell and back for you.

So my sweet little honeybee,

Please don't fly away.

You are my one and only sunshine,

Even when skies are grey.

If I could hang a million stars up on the Texas sky,

None would shine as brightly as that twinkle in your eye.

So, tell me, lovely little dear,

What more is there to say?

I would give you anything,

I'd never go astray.

If Texas had some royalty,

I know you'd be the queen.

You're the prettiest angel

That the world has ever seen.

If I could hang a million stars up in the Texas sky,

None would shine as brightly as that twinkle in your eye."

 

I cover my mouth with my hands and blush madly. He smiles and puts his guitar down, walking over to me. Once he stands in front of me, I hug him tightly. He chuckles and hugs me back.

"I take it you liked the song?" I nod and smile widely. He kisses my cheek and pulls back from the hug. I send a questioning look his way. He pulls me into a real kiss. I kiss back and blush softly. 

He pulls back and caresses my cheek. My blush deepens. He slowly walks backward, taking me with him. He sits in the Rancho Relaxo, with me sitting in his lap.

"Let's do this Texas style," He whispers huskily. I bite my lip and start grinding on him. He moans softly. I continue grinding on him, then stop to unbuckle his belt. I pull it out and drop it to the floor, then unzip his pants. He rests his hands on my hips, smiling softly.

I take out his member. It stands proudly with no signs of backing down. I undo my pants and pull them down a bit, then kneel over him in a riding position.

"You ready, Darlin'?" I nod. He starts gently pushing me down. I hiss softly when he first enters me, but it quickly fades into pleasure. After a few moments, I roll my hips.

He starts thrusting into me. I moan softly and hold onto his shoulders. As he keeps going, I keep moaning until he hits a spot that makes me gasp.

He grins and flips us over, then drives himself into that spot. I moan loudly each time he hits it and arch my back. After a few thrusts, I feel a knot in my stomach.

"Fuck, Dell~ I'm gonna cum!" He moans softly and nods.

"Me too! Oh, God (Y/N)-" I whimper and shudder, then cum around his shaft while moaning loudly. He pulls out and cums on my exposed stomach.

"Sorry, darl." He grabs a rag and wipes me off while I catch my breath.

"That was...amazing." He smiles and lays down next to me as best he can.

"Yeah, it was." I hug him. He hugs me back.

"Thank you for being my boyfriend." He chuckles.

"Well then, thank you for being my girlfriend." I giggle and kiss his forehead.

"Goodnight, Engie."

"Goodnight, (Y/N)."


	19. CBS X Reader X ??? X CBM (short)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is kinda bad, but I'm posting it here anyway because this isn't headcanons.

**Your P.O.V.**

I groaned as I walked into the house. I came home earlier than expected because I couldn't find what I needed. I heard soft talking in the next room. I crept up to the door and pressed my ear to it...

"...bloody bastard. you think she likes you more? now bugger off before I kill you!"

"vhat is zhis nonsense? she vould like a filthy bushman more zhan me? in jour dreams, Arschgeige."

"I bet she'll come to me anyway, nobody would want a cum dump as a boyfriend! I bet you still have red marks from that outfit you wore, you little slut." Medic gasped.

"VHY, JOU-" I heard contact in the other room. I threw open the door.

"STOP FIGHTING!" They stop immediately.

"Eh, my apologies, Frau (Y/N). He started it."

"No, I bloody well didn't! He was taunting me beforehand!" I growled at them. They both shut their mouths.

"It doesn't matter who said what or who did what. Just shut up! There's no reason to fight." They nod.

"Sorry, love."

"My deepest apologies, Frau." I nod. They shoot glares at each other. I smack them and leave the room. Boys, I swear to god...

*a few days later*

Sniper walks up to me with his hands behind his back and a grin on his face. Not that common, I must say.

"Hello, sheila." I smile at him.

"Hello, Mitch. What do you need?" He bounces on the balls of his feet excitedly.

"Well, I got something for ya." He presents me a bouquet of gladioluses, roses, carnations, and tulips. I take it cautiously.

"Uh, thanks..." He nods.

"So do you like it?" I pretend to sneeze.

"Oh, sorry, I'm allergic..." I pretend to sneeze again, and he takes the bouquet from me.

"It was a stupid notion anyways. I'm sorry, love, I didn't know. I'll be more careful next time, eh?" I nod and sneeze for real, which scares him a bit. He walks away, leaving me in peace. I sigh in relief and go back to doing what I was doing. Which was disposing of a corpse. Hey, I'm no innocent angel, here.

*a few more days later...*

Medic walked up to me, calm and collected in demeanor like always.

"What's up, Klaus?" He sits next to me and shrugs.

"Nozhing much. Vhat are jou doing?" I shrug.

"Nothing much. Just sitting here and looking at the sky." He sighs quietly.

"Quite strange, isn't it? Zhe sky is alvays zhere, just sitting in all its majesty, yet nobody has zhe time to look at it unless zhey're paid to." I nod and lay down under the shade of the tree. He lays down next to me.

"Why are you and Sniper fighting over me?" He shrugs.

"Jou're beautiful." I chuckle.

"Dude, I'm a lesbian." He sits up and stares at me.

"Really?" I nod. He stands up and cries out in anguish.

"VHY ARE ALL ZHE HOT ONES EIZHER TAKEN OR GAY?!" I laugh loudly as he stomps off. Then, my phone rings. I answer it.

"Hey, hon. My day off is today. Wanna go get dinner?" I smile.

"Of course. See you in a bit, babe."

*exactly one hour later...*

I enter the restaurant. Pauling waves at me from a table, a huge grin on her face. I sit down opposite her.

"So, how's work?" She sighs.

"Exhausting, as usual. But, this'll hopefully make up for it." I nod and smile softly.

"You gonna wear the thing?" She giggles.

"Yes, I'll wear the thing." Dinner goes smoothly, and then we go home to...blow off steam.


	20. Family Bonds

The fight was gruesome. Then, victory was declared for the Blu team, and the humiliation round began. They didn't kill each other, though. They just danced. Their contract was over! They were free of this hell!

But some took it out of hand. The Scouts playfully shot at each other, and no damage was done, but then...

Random crit.

The Red Scout cried out as he fell to the ground. The Red Spy's eyes widened, and his heart hammered in his chest.

One step.

Two steps.

Crimson staining red.

Three steps.

Collapse.

Laurent drew James close to him.

"Are 'ou okay?" James coughed up blood onto Laurent's face, but he didn't care.

"I...I never got to meet my dad..." Spy shook his head.

"No, 'ou did. 'Ou just never realized it." James sent up a hazed and confused look at Laurent.

"Who...?" Laurent started shaking. James' eyes widened.

"D-Dad?"

Laurent started crying quietly and held his dying son closer.

"I'm so sorry, James. For everything." James chuckled, then coughed again.

"No need. You did all you could. The child support helped a lot. I just wish my Ma could see us...gettin' along, heh. Who'da thought?" His eyes started getting glassy.

"I should be the one apologizing. I was the asshole..." Laurent clutched the young boy closer.

"This is my fault..."

"No. It's my fault for taking the job." James weakly reached for his father, to make him look at him.

"I don't wanna go, Spy."

Final words.

Final shudder of breath.

Anguish.

Hot tears falling onto a cold corpse.

Disbelief.

Holding him close.

He can't be dead, he can't be dead.

He waited.

And waited.

Respawn was shut off.

Furious yelling.

Beating the ground that caught the boy's body.

Cursing the air that the boy breathed.

Furiously fighting those trying to keep you safe.

"HE WAS MY BOY! HE CAN'T BE GONE, HE WAS MY BOY! NO! HE CAN'T-"

More tears.

Silence for those that have passed.

The closing of the eyes.

Mick took the dog tags off James' body.

"I'm sorry..."

Rage, redirected.

"You...THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"

Struggle.

Freedom of bonds.

A gun pointed at an innocent man.

"I TRUSTED 'OU, 'OU BASTARD! 'OU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP HIM SAFE! HE SAW 'OU AS A FATHER! A PROTECTOR!"

Click.

This one is jammed.

Taking the weapons of the dead.

Restrained again.

Surrender.

Tears soaking a balaclava.

Enough leeway to point it at the temple.

"au moins, je serai avec mon fils..."

A trigger pulled.

Two dead men.


	21. (Teenage!)Spy X (Teenage!Abused!) Reader

**_ (no accents because you're both speaking French. Trigger warning for threats, verbal abuse, and abusive themes.) _ **

**_ (I also have a title for this one. :3) _ **

_~Fragile Paper~_

**Your P.O.V**.

A rich teenager's life in Paris, France was a lavish one. Didn't prevent acne, though. I groaned as I inspected my face in the mirror.

"Nobody could love a face like this." I stepped back and inspected my stretch marks.

"Nobody could love a body like this, either." I sigh and put on my clothes, then go downstairs for breakfast.

"Honey, you really need to use the acne stuff we got you." I roll my eyes.

"Well, it feels uncomfortable. I don't like it." My father looks at me over his newspaper.

"It doesn't matter whether you don't like it. We need people to like you. That means beauty. No acne. Styled hair. Makeup. Fancy clothing. And did you get piercings when I SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU NOT TO?!" I cross my arms.

"Dad, they're tiny hoops. It's not the end of the world!" He stands up. My mother does nothing.

"Do I need to go over there and rip them out myself?" I bow my head and take them out.

"I'm sorry, father." He nods and we continue eating breakfast with no more talking.

A few hours later, and I'm ready to go to my private school. Makeup covers my acne as best it can and the stiff uniform makes sure none of my unsightly body marks are seen.

"Have a nice day at school, honey." I only nod and start walking the short distance between school and home.

 

I arrive on time, as usual, and sit down in my usual seat. Class begins, and we all wait for him to show up. Then, right on time, Laurent strides in like he owns the place five minutes late. He hands the teacher the tardy slip and scans the room for an open seat. I see that the only seat is next to me. He gracefully walks over and sits his handsome ass next to me.

"I have not seen you before, my little rabbit. Why would a girl as pretty as you hide?" I look away to avoid him.

The entire class passes like this, with him flirting with me at intermittent times. One time, he even passed me a perfect paper flower. I kept it on my desk, and he saw it as a victory. Once class ended, he slid me a folded slip of paper, then got up and left.

I carefully put the flower in my lunch bag, then read the slip of paper. It's a small declaration of love, which I found adorable. I put that with the flower, then go to lunch.

After the day ends, I walk back home, with the flower and note still in my lunch bag. Before I go inside, I check the front window.

My father has been day-drinking again. I decide to go to my room quietly, as to not anger him. I slip inside the house and go up to my room and set my book bag down, then take out the paper flower, still pristine, and set it on my desk. I smile softly, then quietly go downstairs, sneaking past my father, and put my lunch bag in the kitchen. I go back upstairs and do my homework, then just sit and admire his craftsmanship.

 

The next day, I cover up again and go to school. Laurent sits next to me again, but he's on time today. It spooks everybody. He cups my chin with his hand.

"Why would you cover up such a pretty face with makeup?" I blush softly.

"Acne isn't beautiful." His gaze hardens.

"Whoever says that your natural face isn't beautiful is an imbecile. After school, would you let me see?" I blush harder and nod once. His gaze softens again and he smiles.

"Perfect. See you then." He then turns to the front and pays attention.

He slips me notes throughout class that say wonderful things. I tuck them all in a bag I brought specifically to carry items he gives me. Then, he passes me a fleet of paper cranes, one by one, until my side of the desk is littered with them. I smile softly and tuck them in the bag as well.

 

The school day ends, and I remember my promise. I wait outside for him. When he comes out, he grabs my hand and takes me to a car.

"I am sure your parents will be fine with you coming with me if you're saying you're practicing to take care of guests, yes?" I giggle and let him lead me to the car. We get in the back, and the driver takes us to his house as I text my parents. I don't look at the reply in my carelessness.

We soon arrive. He gets out first and holds open my door for me. I get out and take the hand he offers me. He leads me up to his rather fancy house, even by a rich person's standards. He takes me in and gets me to the kitchen.

"You seem far too skinny. Want anything to eat?" I blush softly.

"I'm not allowed to..." His jaw drops slightly.

"N-Not allowed to...No, your parents aren't here to tell you what to do. You are here as a guest, and I aim to make you comfortable." He goes into the fridge and pulls some things out, then gets some cooking supplies and implements.

"What are you making?"

"Crepes. Feel free to have some of the Madelines, and I can put some tea on if you want." I smile and go over to the plate of cookies and take one, eating happily and humming in content.

"These are so good. I've never had one before." I hear him gasp quietly.

"What have you been eating, then?"

"Just what's needed to survive. Skinny girls are beautiful, or that's what my parents say." He comes over and sets a plate of strawberry crepes in front of me, then kisses my cheek.

"They are, but starvation to be skinny is not. You are actually far too skinny, and people would suspect something. Tell this to your parents. Make them let you eat." I nod and blush softly when he kisses my cheek.

"Thank you." I start eating and grin. It's the most delicious thing I've ever had. It's gone after a few minutes. He chuckles softly.

"Seems you really were hungry." I nod and blush harder. He smiles and kisses my cheek again.

"Now, can I see your lovely face without the powders in the way?" I sigh quietly.

"Do you have any makeup remover? This stuff is pretty strong." He nods.

"Just wait one second." He leaves and I hear him going up some stairs. A few minutes later he returns with some wipes and starts cleaning my face.

"I can do it myself..."

"I know, but I want to do it." I nod and let him do it. After a few minutes, my face is clean. He smiles softly.

"You are much more beautiful like this, my dear." I blush and look away.

"No, I'm not...I'm terribly ugly." He turns my head to look at him.

"Those are your parent's words, not yours. Is that how you really feel?" I sigh quietly.

"I just wish I didn't have to cover up all the time...but the acne stuff my parents got me is annoying..." He chuckles softly.

"Please use it anyway. For your comfort, and so I can see your beautiful face without all the powders and chemicals in the way." I blush and smile. He leans in when suddenly there's a thundering knock at the door. I pull out my phone and check my parent's reply.

"Oh, shit." He gets up and walks quickly to the door.

"My mother's bathroom is the second room on the right upstairs. Reapply there." I nod and race upstairs quickly, ducking into his mother's bathroom and recreating the look I had this morning. I come back downstairs calmly to find Laurent charming my parents into not being angry.

"Please, sir, we are teenagers. It is the age of blossoming romance. One cannot blame her for seeking one on one male company."

"I suppose that is true...Well, she should have asked us."

"I was the one who suggested it, sir. I was so excited to finally have a beautiful girl such as your daughter over that I forgot to plan it out. She does seem awfully skinny, though. Do you not have enough food at home? I could easily get my parents to donate some to you."

"No, no, we have more than enough food at home."

"Then why does she seem like she is starved?"

My father kind of paused. I stayed at the banister of the stairs to listen to his decision.

"Does she?"

"Yes, sir. I thought that maybe she was just picky, but she told me you put her on a diet when I asked. It seems this diet might be hurting her."

He nods.

"Okay. We'll take her off the diet." I grin, then school my face into neutrality and approach my parents. My mother glares at me softly.

"Why didn't you come home immediately?"

"I didn't get your message. I'm sorry." She nods, accepting the answer. My parents lead me out and to the car, but not before Laurent slips something in my pocket. Once we got home, I raced to my room.

I deposited all my paper cranes on my desk, then pulled out the paper he gave me. It was a number, which I assumed was his. I entered it into my phone and gave him a contact.

 

The next day, I was a bit more confident when I walked into the classroom. Laurent came on time again and sat down next to me. I slid him my number and he entered it into his phone.

"You look healthier already, my dear." I smile.

"They changed my diet immediately. I got actual food this morning." 

The class started, and we both set off to do our work. He seemed focused on his latest origami creation rather than the work, however. When he finished it, he smiled softly before he handed it over to me.

It was a paper heart, with a message in beautiful script on it.

'Beautiful, but fragile. Just like you. I intend to make you stronger, my treasure. I love you.'

My face goes red. I tuck it in my lunch box before burying my face in my hands. He kisses my cheek.

"Je t'aime."


	22. (Blu!)Pyro X (Red!Pyro!)Reader

**Your P.O.V.**

I sigh quietly at the uniform. Couldn't they have given me something more...free? I mean, sure, we get to put hats on and stuff, but I want to be able to breathe, for crying out loud! 

I sigh quietly and pull it on anyways, looking at myself in the mirror. Completely anonymous. Just a gas mask and a flamethrower. I hated it, but it was also nice. A fresh start.

That was what I wanted, but not what I got. Well, not exactly.

The other team's Pyro seemed excited to see me. They waved at me, then prompted me for a high-five. I gave them a high-five, to be nice. They giggled and went off to kill the Spy they were chasing. I looked after them, confused, but shrugged and went after the Spy I was chasing.

 

Things continued like this. They would never even turn their flames on me, and if they ever grazed me on accident, they'd help me to a medkit. They gave me high-fives, danced with me, laughed with me, and every once in a while we had an airblast battle with a rocket.

 

Then, ceasefire came. I decided to spend the day at a cliffside I found that offered a fantastic view. I brought an umbrella to shield me from the sun and a cooler full of soda and a bag full of snacks so I wouldn't go hungry.

I sit down with my feet hanging over the edge of the cliff and admire the view. Even with the Pyrovision mask, it's nice. Rainbows and flowers everywhere. I don't know why the mask does this, but it makes my job a lot easier. I don't have to think about the fact that I'm burning real people to a crisp daily.

I hear somebody walking my way. When I turn to look, it's the Blu Pyro. They sit down next to me and boop the side of my mask with their muzzle. I giggle, and they giggle back.

"So, how is life on base?"

"Same as it's ever been. I think I'm finally getting used to this place."

"That's good! Are you still stuck in Pyrovision, or can you take the mask off?" I cock my head to the side.

"I've always been able to take the mask off." They shrug.

"Maybe you just didn't want to take it off around me, then. So, will you take it off for me now, Dani?"

"Dani? That's, that's not my name." They cock their head to the side.

"What do you mean? You told me last year, your name was Dani." I shake my head.

"Whoever you think I am, I'm not that person." I take the mask off. They gasp.

"I'm (Y/N)." They sigh sadly.

"I'm sorry that I confused you for them." They take off the mask as well. A mop of brown hair falls to barely above their shoulders, and when they open their eyes, one is red, and one is brown.

"I'm Cacheo. Nice to meet you." They smile brightly. I smile back.

"So, we won't lose the camaraderie on the battlefield?"

"Of course not, amiga. We've bonded over time, no? You may not be the Dani I knew, but I want to get to know the (Y/N) that's here now." I giggle and offer them a soda.

"For now, let's just look at the view. I like that sort of thing."

"Gotcha, amiga."


	23. TentaSpy X (Monster Hunter!)Sniper

_**(italics for French)** _

 

**Sniper's P.O.V.**

Paris, France. Much too fancy for my taste, and my type. I knew how to clean up, though, and I knew how to hold proper decorum.

I was there to hunt for vampires. I quickly got sidetracked when the owner of my motel started talking about a monster that dwelled nearby.

" _Saw the monster again today_." It was an offhand comment to his wife, but it peaked my interest.

"Did you- ehem, _did you say monster? What kind_?" The owner looked up from what he was doing.

" _You don't want to know, boy._ " I sighed and threw a couple hundred euros on the counter.

" _I said, what kind of monster?_ " The owner looked from the money to me, back to the money, and back to me, his overly large moustache bristling.

" _Well...It lives in the sewers. It's blue, as well. I've only seen the top half of it. It looks human enough, but it has fins on either side of its head, and when it opens its mouth, there's a row of sharp teeth in place of human ones. Its eyes are yellow and cat-like. I wouldn't trust it, and I suggest you don't go after it,_ monster hunter." He spat my title in a rude way. I growl quietly and unsheathe my kukri.

" _I'm perfectly capable of handling myself,_  little froggie.  _Too scared to take care of the problem yourself, aren't you. If it attacked you, you'd surrender immediately. I'm going to take care of it, and then you'll be on your knees, kissing my shoes and offering me a large sum of money, because that's the type of coward you are._ " I turned around and stalked out of the establishment, jaw set.

I was determined to find this beast and bring its head on a platter to the owner of that shitty bed and breakfast. Then, maybe I'd mount it. It seems like a nice heirloom, from what the owner described it as.

Then I realized that I probably should have asked the owner where he saw it. I shrugged and continued on my way. The best place to look for a monster was the forest, even if the owner said it lived in the sewers. He might have been lying, though. So, the Bois de Boulogne was the best place to start, since it was the closest.

After an hour, I had arrived. It looked tranquil as ever. The owner stated it had fins, so I went to the lake. It also had a sewer drain, so if it fled, I'd know where to find it. The lake was strangely void of the couples that came here to float around on gondolas, my first sign something was wrong. I drew my rifle and looked around. It'd be noisy, but it would be more destructive than the crossbow, and that was worth it.

There was a ripple in the water. I aimed at it, not firing yet. The ripple disappeared. I squinted and inched closer. Suddenly, I heard a male around my age calling for help. I stowed my rifle and raced off to find him.

I found the man drowning in the middle of the lake. He had beautiful ebony hair, slightly streaked with most likely stress, porcelain skin, and he was fit as well. I discarded my rifle and crossbow on the shore, keeping my kukri on me. I then took off my hat and dove into the water.

I got to him and started pulling him ashore, not bothering to look at any of his other features.

"Alright mate, let's get you back on land, don't want you dead, now do we?" I heard him chuckle.

"From 'our items on ze shore, I would zink ze opposite." Oh, good. I saved a frog. Well, a life is a life.

"Well, sorry. I'm currently hunting a monster, so I need to have those on me. If I told you about it, could you tell me stuff in return?" I got him to the shore. He kept his bottom half in the water, which I found strange, but didn't question it. His hair was flattened by the water, covering his ears. He also had his eyes closed as he shrugged.

"Might as well. 'Ou saved my life." I started cleaning the water off my kukri, not looking at the man I saved.

"Well, from what I heard, it lives in the sewers. Fins the side of its head, yellow cat eyes, sharp teeth. Top half human, and the bottom half who knows what. Came here thinking I might find it. You know anything?" The man chuckles.

"Of course I know about him, my dear hunter." I felt something sliding up my leg. When I looked down, I saw a tentacle. I freaked out and tried to get away, but it grabbed me and dragged me into the water.

After a nice dip, its brothers joined it, hoisting me up out of the water upside down. Then I got a good look at the guy I saved. Yellow cat eyes, sharp teeth, and I would've bet fifty euro that fins were hidden beneath his hair.

"He is me." He laughs at my probably shocked face.

"What is 'our name, my dear hunter?" I growl at him.

"Not tellin' you anything, mate." He chuckles and moves closer to me.

"I have my ways of getting what I want." One of its-  _his_ tentacles slide under my shirt. I squirm at the feeling.

"So, what is it? I would guess something cliche, like Brayden?" His tentacle moves around more, making me fight harder to get out of his grip.

"No? Then how about Jason? Or maybe somezing aboriginal, like Iluka?" I yelp as the slimy thing runs over a nipple.

"FINE! ALRIGHT! IT'S MICK, NOW BLOODY STOP!" He withdraws the tentacle. I sigh in relief. He doesn't set me down, though. I kinda panic again.

"I do not seem 'our usual prey. Is zis some sort of grudge, or to prove someone wrong?" I sigh quietly.

"Yeah, the bloody bed and breakfast owner. Cocky bastard. Had to pay him to get the info on you, what a fucking sleaze..." He chuckles.

"Oui, I am familiar wiz ze man. So, zis is because of him?" I nod.

"Hmm, I usually eat ze hunters zat hunt me, but...I like 'ou." I stay still, not wanting to anger him.

"So, as long as 'ou promise not to come back here, or at least not wiz 'our weapons, I will let 'ou go. Sound fair?" I nod frantically. He laughs and sets me back down on the shore. I scramble to my feet and stare at him in disbelief.

"What, do 'ou want to be killed? Zen shoo." He waves me off, and I quickly gather my weapons and flee. Damn, I'm a coward, but I would rather kill more bloodsuckers later than kill one monster that didn't matter(and was kinda hot) but walk away injured or worse.

I get back to the bed and breakfast slightly damp, with the slime from the tentacle still all over my chest and making my shirt sticky. The owner's eyes widen when he sees me.

" _You survived?_ " I spit on his floor and nod.

" _I was able to fight back, unlike the others you sent to their death. You really hate us even though we keep you safe, don't you?_ " He chuckles.

" _What, from things that don't_ _exi_ _-_ " The window shatters behind him, and something swoops in. I pull him over the counter and slash at the thing with my kukri. It screeches in pain. I laugh.

"Blessed blade, bitch!" I whip its cloak off, then shove it into the sun. It lets out an ear-piercing shriek and collapses into a pile of dust. I huff and turn back to the owner.

" _Don't exist, huh?_ " I turn back to the pile and gather it into a bag filled with the dust of other vampires I've slain. Yes, it's kind of weird to keep corpses on you, but I take it as a good luck charm. Haven't died yet, for the fifty-sixth time.

" _I'm sorry, sir. You don't have to pay for your room._ " I laugh.

" _Told you you'd be offering me large sums of money, you mewling_ _quim_ _._ " I clean my blade off on my coat, then go upstairs to get some rest.

After the night passed, I got up, ate breakfast, then stowed my rifle and crossbow in their case, then started going back to the lake. The quim didn't question me, which I was extremely happy with. I got there, and the park was empty again. Maybe news had spread of the monster?

I walked back over to the spot where I found him pretending to drown, and waited. While I waited, I whittled a small wooden stake(useful for later), ate the lunch I packed myself, drank my whole flask of whiskey, and took a nap while sunbathing.

When I woke up, it was nearly nighttime. I sighed and got up, packing up my things. When I looked back up, he was there. I yelped and fumbled my stuff, dropping it again. I cursed and took a deep breath.

"Jesus, don't scare me like that, mate..." The creature laughs.

"Zen maybe 'ou should not have come back here,  _my friend._ " I shrug and sit back down.

"I was interested in you." He raises an eyebrow.

"Interested?" I nod.

"In  _me?_ " I nod again. He sighs.

"Take off zat oversized butter knife and come into ze water. And, take off 'our clozes if 'ou don't want zem to get wet again." I blush softly but go with his reasoning. I can feel him watching me as I strip.

"Keep your bleedin' peepers off me, ya wank." He chuckles and does nothing. I glare at him and get the rest of it off quickly, keeping my boxer briefs on for courtesy's sake, then take a running start and dive into the water, surfacing quickly. I look back at the creature.

"What's your name, anyway?" He wraps a tentacle around my leg and brings me closer.

"My name is Victor. Nice to meet 'ou, Mick." I try to get some distance.

"Nice to meet you too. Where's your bloody shirt?" He chuckles and only pulls me closer.

"What, does it bozer 'ou? Plus, it is more comfortable for water movement." I nod.

"Just, get away from me. I don't wanna be close to you." He pulls me flush against him, chest-to-chest. All his tentacles wrapped around my legs and waist, making me squirm.

"Does being zis close to anozer man bozer 'ou?" He grins, showing off his sharp teeth. I growl and shove at him. He doesn't budge and wraps some tentacles around my arms. I struggle and pant softly.

"How many of these bloody things do you have?"

"Well, I was made wiz eight, but zey grafted more onto me as time went along until I escaped. So, I do not know." He shrugs.

"Who's they?"

"Ze scientists zat made me. What, did 'ou zink I just spawned? Vampires and werewolves came from somewhere, so I must have come from somewhere as well." I nod.

"Fair enough."

"Why do 'ou wear zings like shirts? What is wrong wiz showing a bit of skin?" I roll my eyes.

"I dunno either. Maybe we're making women feel more comfortable about having to wear them?" He nods.

"Fair enough. Why do 'ou wear underwear? It is not needed if 'ou wear pants."

"To keep our pants clean longer. Why are you asking so many questions? Thought you didn't care about humans."

"I'm a curious person. I want to know more about ze world around me." I nod.

"Sounds reasonable."

"Anozer question; why is 'our dick hard?" I blush madly and look down to see that he's removed my underwear and that I had a hard-on.

"Uhh..." He chuckles and squeezes me gently with his tentacles.

"Are 'ou into ze bondage? Or do 'ou just find me attractive?" I kick to try and get out of his grip, but he only holds me tighter, and I accidentally let out a soft moan.

"Oh, 'ou do like being held captive! 'Ou filzy bushman!" He laughs loudly and I look away in embarrassment.

"Well, since zis has happened, I can find out more about 'our anatomy." He grins. I shudder.

"Whaddya mean by that?" He chuckles and starts feeling me up with his hands.

"Well, since 'ou don't mind me touching 'ou, I can explore however I please~" He runs his hands over my chest, scratching me a bit here and there. Then he gets to my stomach. I squirm.

"Oi, get away from there!" He smiles softly and squeezes my paunch. I fight harder, but he only tightens his grip.

"For a hardened hunter, I would not zink 'ou to have somezing like zis. I would zink 'ou to stay in shape." He purrs softly and squeezes again.

"I usually don't find much, and it's an easy takedown. Leave me alone." He laughs and strokes my sides. I spasm and giggle. He stops.

"Ticklish, are we?" My eyes widen.

"No, NO-" But he's already attacking my sides. I laugh uncontrollably and writhe in my bonds. He stops after a few minutes with a grin on his face.

"How adorable, Bushman." I blush and look away. He runs his hands down my torso to my crotch. I blush harder.

"Have you ever bottomed?" I raise an eyebrow.

"What are you on about?" One of his tentacles leaves me. My eyes widen.

"W-wait, no-" He raises me up and leans back a bit. His freed tentacle rubs my tight hole and I squirm.

"I'm a virgin..." He chuckles and cups my cheeks, then gives me a soft kiss.

"Don't worry. I'll take care of 'ou." I feel it slowly rub around. He moves his hands from my face cheeks to my ass cheeks and spreads me. I squirm and bite my lip.

"Be gentle..." He nods.

"I will." I gasp and kick as the tip of the tentacle slides into me with somehow little resistance. It feels strange but oddly good. He stops.

"Are 'ou sure 'ou're okay?" I nod and grin.

"Just keep going. This is the best!" He grins and keeps moving his tentacle. I squirm and moan as I get closer and closer to the edge. He wrapped a hand around my cock at one point and started tugging at it, which only drove me wild.  
  


"Oh- fuck, God- I'm gonna-!" I arch my back and howl with pleasure as I cum. I pant softly as he lets me back down into the water, and I then lean on him for support.

"Mmm...that was good..." My eyes drift closed. I feel him wrap his arms around me instead of his tentacles. I smile softly and pass out on him.

 

When I wake up, I'm back at the bed and breakfast. My items are on a table in my room, and I'm still buck nude. I'm also laying in wet sheets. I get out of bed and stretch. There's a note on my bedside table. I pick it up and read it.

"I suggest you do not go to the lake again...It would spell doom for your career because I'm keeping you next time." As I think about this, I suddenly realize I wouldn't really mind that.

I pack up my stuff and head out, putting the pay for the room on the counter and not listening to the housekeep's protests. I head back to the lake and sit down where we've met both times. I wait until nightfall again, this time not falling asleep.

"What are 'ou doing here? I told 'ou to stay away. Or, did 'ou not get my note?" I smile softly.

"I got the note, mate. I decided that wasn't too bad." He gets confused.

"I wanna stay with ya."

"'Ou what?"

"I wanna stay with you. Nobody deserves to be lonely." He furrows his brow.

"Zat would mean you become like me." I shrug and smile.

"Don't see a problem with that. You can transform others to be like you?" He nods slowly.

" _Yes_...Are 'ou sure about zis? Zere's no going back."

"If I wasn't sure, I wouldn't be here." He sighs and nods.

"Come into ze water. Leave 'our items on ze beach." I nod and take off everything, then wade into the water. He grabs my hand and pulls me close to him.

"It's painful, especially because of what we did yesterday." I shrug.

"Fine by me." He chuckles softly.

"Oh, 'ou are going to be eating zose words in half an hour." He drags me under the water. I fight my instincts to get back up to the surface.

He pulls my head to the side and bites me, sinking his teeth deep into me. I thrash and yell. He was right, this was painful. I can see regret in his eyes, but he keeps going. I eventually pass out from both blood loss and extreme prolonged pain.

 

When I wake up, I'm sitting on the shore of a beach. Victor is out from shore a bit. I try to get up, but fall right back down and grunt in pain. I'm very sore, it's like my whole body was cut and dragged through lemon juice and fire, but my skin looks fine.

"It'll take an hour for ze process to complete." I jump in surprise when I see Victor next to me. I chuckle deliriously.

"Shit, you were right, this hurts like hell." He chuckles and runs a hand through my hair.

"Be glad you weren't awake for most of it, especially the eyes." I raise an eyebrow. He holds up a semi-reflective shard of glass. My eyes are like his now.

"Yeah, pretty sure that would've hurt like a bitch." I laugh. He chuckles as well.

"Ze ears are usually not zat painful. 'Ou will be alright." He cups my cheek and kisses me gently. I kiss back. He pulls back and smiles.

"Also, 'ou might be carrying my child." My eyes widen.

"WHAT?!" He chuckles.

"While ze top half of 'ou is still male, zere is sometimes a little hiccup in ze transformation. Don't worry, it happens all ze time." He smirks. I glare at him.

"You did that on purpose." He laughs.

"No, 'ou're still male, just zat I implanted an embryo in 'ou after we had sex. 'Ou were pregnant anyways. Get ready to have a lot of babies." I roll my eyes.

"Jeez, can't go a month without getting impregnated by some monster...There was one time that I got abducted by aliens. Thank god the abortion worked, otherwise I wouldn't be here." I laugh. He laughs as well. The glass laughs. I crush the glass.

"Bloody mimics...Can't trust anything anymore." He chuckles.

"No mimics in ze ocean." I smile.

"I think I'm gonna like it with you." He smiles and kisses my nose.

"I hope 'ou will."


End file.
